Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band - "Songs From The Promise"

Alternately titled, "Please-Oh-Please-Announce-A-Tour-Already!! Of The Day."

I haven't even watched this yet but I'm posting it here for you and I don't believe I need to explain why.



Endless Fist Pumps.

Life-Altering Find of the Day

Obligatory Back-Story: Pogo makes crazy music and mixes by slicing and dicing classic kids' movies, and thusly makes the interwebz go gaga. Apparently he actually worked for Disney for a time and was silenced by the Mouse, but his contract is up and his mind-blowing Disney mashes are once again free to destroy your productivity forever.

Clearly the Mary Poppins one is going to be my favorite, but Bangarang is pretty unbelievable, too.

The Suspense is Terrible...I Hope It'll Last

We still have no idea what the musical costume is going to be this year, but I am beyond hyped to head down to Atlantic City on Sunday for Phish's highly anticipated Halloween show. Between this concert and the ING NYC Marathon that follows exactly one week later, I am hopped up on anticipation and getting less and less sleep every night. Be sure to hit up Run Schiff, Run! in the coming days for all things Marathon, and in the meantime check out this short MTV feature from 1996 detailing Phish's Halloween performance of the Talking Heads' Remain In Light. Because Music Television used to cover, you know, music. We miss you, Kurt Loder! [Saw it here]



So, what's it gonna be Sunday night?

Links From The Girl Who Sits Behind Me, Birthday Edition

She also made me cupcakes.

Gorillaz - "Doncmatic (All Played Out)" ft. Daley [Friday Jams]

Somewhere between releasing a new album and embarking on a world tour, Gorillaz found time to record this new track just in time for their gig at Madison Square Garden tonight, and more importantly for your Schiff Happens Friday Jams. Yours truly will be one of the lucky ones in attendance tonight, and this tune has me that much more excited. I was immediately drawn to Gorillaz when I first caught a glimpse of the incredible visuals that they fuse with their musicianship and have been pumped to see them live since before it was even a possibility. The closest I ever came was when I was living in London back in 2005 and I saw a flier for a sold out festival-type ticket featuring Gorillaz as the headliner pasted to the wall in some sketchy neighborhood as I made my way home from a night of drunken shenanigans at the roller disco. So yeah, despite my seat location in the 300s, I'll be considerably closer to the action tonight. HYPE and video via Hidden Track (emphasis mine):

The Live on Letterman webcast series rolled on last night with a not quite an hour set from Gorillaz. Gorillaz’s front man Damon Albarn clearly enjoyed the setting as he hammed it up throughout and expressed his excitement for tonight’s Madison Square Garden gig multiple times.

Guests on the webcast included Miho Hatori, Paul Simonon and Mick Jones of The Clash, De La Soul, a string quartet and Bootie Brown as the band played a total of nine songs including the suave Superfast Jellyfish, a gorgeous On Melancholy Hill and a Clint Eastwood closer that turned into a party when Albarn invited half the crowd on stage with him.

 

Finally, check out the new jam, "Doncmatic (All Played Out)" below. It's apparently "inspired by The Donca Matic - the groundbreaking Japanese-designed drum machine which started the Korg Musical Instrument Company in 1963." Okay then. Watch below or download here.

SO ready for tonight.

Links From The Girl Who Sits Behind Me

I have been at my current job for more than six months now, which means that I've had enough time to settle into a fairly standard routine. According to my best estimation, my typical workday is spent as follows:

• 4.5 hours conceptualizing technological innovation enabling me to reach through computer and shake my clients.
• 2 hours trolling the interwebz for bootleg mp3s and LOLing at kittens.
• 1 hour lunching.
• 47 minutes actual work.*

The rest of my day is split between bathroom breaks, visits to the work pantry, "organizing my to-do list," and clicking on instant message links from The Girl Who Sits Behind Me. She finds some pretty good stuff every now and then, and since I see no reason why I should be the only one to enjoy it, I'm going to start posting everything she sends me right here in this spot, 100% free of time-consuming context. I'll do this around the same time at the end of each day, or week, or month, or until I find something better to do with my time than blog for nobody in particular.

So thanks for inspiring a new feature, Girl Who Sits Behind Me. Please to enoy today's crapload!

  

 

*To the boss, if you're reading this, of course I am kidding. Sort of. No, really.

Happy Bruceday!

The Boss is 61 today, and I can only hope that someone saw fit to give him a gift as beautiful as the one he gave to that lucky photographer and couple whose engagement shoot he photobombed earlier this week (Stories like this remind us once again that Bruce is the coolest, and the Jersey Shore is magical). I have no idea what you get for the man who has everything, but my Springsteen birthday wish would probably be that someone give him that beard and hat back. I'll be sure to buy him a cone if I spot him out at Jersey Freeze tonight. At the very least, can we finally get this guy a fuckin' elevator? He's fuckin' sixty(-one)!

I guess all I can say is, "Here's to you, Boss Man." I'd wish you another 61 years, but we all know that wouldn't matter, because legends never die. So in the spirit of gift-giving, thanks for giving me the greatest gift of all at Bonnaroo last year. (You know there's no way I could pass up a chance to post this video again).

At The Moment...

Spent the weekend atoning, so I have a clean slate to once again enjoy guilty pleasures like this:



Getting more and more excited for this:



And blogging simply so as not to forget about this (embiggen/buy):

Friday Jams: Cee-Lo Green, "Fuck You"

Happy Friday, everyone. Sing it out.

Calvin & Hobbes Search Engine is a Treasure Trove of Awesome

The Calvin & Hobbes Search Engine is one of those things that you never really considered needing, but once you know it exists you immediately wonder how your life ever felt complete without it. I also like to call it by its other name, "The Greatest Use of Search Technology in the History of Ever." To get you started, I recommend searching "explore," "spaceman," and "booger."

And now, because this is one of the truly great gifts the internet has ever given us, here is every Calvin & Hobbes strip that ran on my birthday. Please to enjoy.

1986

1987

1988

1989
1990
1991

1992
1993

1994

1995

Wherein Kenny Powers Punts A Guy's Head [You're Fuckin' Out!]

Like everyone else, I was overjoyed last Thursday when, after all the long months of waiting, Jersey Shore finally came back.

Okay, so calling the premiere of Season 2 a bit of a letdown would be a juiced up understatement. I still think it can be good, but it's apparent already that it might not ever again be great. That said, "I feel like a Pilgrim from the friggin' '20s washing shit right now!" isn't a bad one-liner from Snooks. Here's hoping it picks up.

Meanwhile, lost in the fist-pumping shuffle (oh shit, I think I just accidentally coined a new line dance), was the impending return of another Schiff Happens favorite, a man who never disappoints because he's better than fucking everyone. That's right - on September 26, Kenny Powers is fucking IN. And he's got a brand new endorsement deal.

Kenny Powers Gets Signed By K-Swiss - watch more funny videos

Our Long National Nightmare is Over, Jersey Shore is Back

Tonight, that empty space you've felt in your heart since January will once again be filled with creepin, gorillas, grenades, and of course, the business. Tonight, we beat up the beat. Tonight, tits are comin' out. Tonight - God bless me, it's fuckin summah - Jersey Shore returns for Season Two!

My fellow GTL-iens... REJOICE!


In case you forgot (although how could you have?), I've pasted your Official Jersey Shore Drinking Game rules below. I can only assume that we'll have to make some updates to the rules once we have a better sense of the Season 2 dynamic. As always, suggestions welcome. Blend up some RonRon juice and enjoy.

I'm so glad it's back.

The Jersey Shore Drinking Game, Official Rules:

1. The names of all the housemates are put into a hat and each person draws one. If you're drinking with more than 6 people, just put the names back and draw again until everyone has their housemate. When your guido talks to the camera, take a drink.

2. If anyone actually calls Snooki "Snooki," finish your drink.

3. If they call her anything else - Snook, Shnooks, Snickers, Shnicks, Snicky-Snicky-Shnoiks, Shnookumspookums - it's a social.

4. If the housemates all sit down for family dinner, everybody does a toast and takes a healthy chug. Except for whoever has Sammi Sweetheart - she's excluded from chicken cutlet night. She also has to refill the cup of whoever has The Situation... that ungrateful Flintstone big toe havin' bitch.

5. When they fist pump, we fist pump. Any fist pumping battle scene starts a waterfall. Everyone drinks while fist pumping and doesn't stop doing either until there's no more fist pumping happening on screen.

6. And of course, no Jersey Shore drinking game would be complete without this BASEketball-inspired rule: Do a shot every time a fight breaks out!

Gogol Bordello likes very much the kissing

Gogol Bordello are touring the world with Primus in support of their fifth album (and major label debut), Transcontinental Hustle, and I have never been so excited to attend a gypsy punk freakout rock show. Watch the awesomely trippy video for Pala Tute and feel your mustache growing by the second.



Carnival is comin'
All guitars are strummin'
And says old hitano "Boy, forget about the bling
Here is a guitarra
For you little chavo
If you slave to kissing,You gotta play this thing"

Primus / Gogol Bordello
The Williamsburg Waterfront, Brooklyn, NY

Fri, Jul 30, 2010 05:30 PM

Does the Jersey Shore have a Shark Situation?

First Humpbacks, now sharks? Snooki's gonna need a bigger boat.

Alright, so it's not the Matawan Man-Eater of 1916 that inspired Jaws, but there have been three shark sightings this week along a five-mile stretch of beach in Ocean County where Schiff Happens and Co. can often be found every summer. But rest easy, friends! The 21-year-old hungover lifeguard says there's no need to fear:

"Yes, there are really sharks out there," Seaside Park lifeguard C.J. Ratshin, 21, wearily told the one of the "tons of people coming up and asking if the sharks will eat them."

Raising his voice to be heard over news helicopters buzzing the beach in vain attempts to spot the long-gone sharks, Ratshin told bathers, "the sharks won’t eat you if you don’t step on them."

Well then. Carry on.

I can only assume that the Jersey Shore sharks out there have been reading The Sexy Armpit this month and saw their shot at the spotlight. Either that or they're getting ready for Shark Week like the rest of us. Speaking of which, how badly do you wish you worked in the Discovery Channel building right now?

Happy Canada D-Eh!

That's right, today is Canada Day! Well, not here anyway. Here it's just stupid Thursday. But I assume our neighbors to the north are positively tickled in their flannel britches today, which is sort of like Canadian Fourth of July. Oh, Canada, you're so cute up there, with your hockey and your bacon and your French people. I know you think nobody respects you, but look at all the people out there who love Canada.

For example, an inexplicably popular, fatass American sportscaster loves Canada and its lax drug policies.



You know who else loves Canada? This highly spirited, possibly mentally challenged Hoser loves Canada.



Hell, even yours truly loves Canada. Well, at least "O Canada," my favorite national anthem, which was adopted as Canada's official national tune 30 years ago today, to which I say... really, only 30 years? What did they sing before curling matches and log rolling competitions in 1979?

So Canada, today we salute you, flapping heads, beady eyes, and all. Here's to Canada: America's Hat! And if you still believe the whole world is just ragging on you, well, for one day you can say, "Fuck you budday!" For one day, you get to stick it to us. So put on your finest formal wear, crack open a Labatt, and show the world what Canada is all aboot.

See Another 'Jersey Shore' Trailer [And Today Just Got Better]

Never before has one trailer given so much, with so little.

MTV Shows

"Did I bang Snooki last night?"

Oh Vinny, if I had a nickel.....

Happy July, everyone! Only 28 days to get your GTL on before the guidos are back in our lives. Keep those new rules coming for the Official Jersey Shore Drinking Game and as always, watch out for grenades.

Via [MTV]

ZOMG It's a New Jersey Humpback!

And I don't mean Snooki. HEYOOO!!

FOR REALZ you guys, whales down the Jersey Shore. Amazing!

Saw it at fuckyeahnj. Pics and video via The Jersey Shore Online.

Bonnaroo 2010 Webcasts, Streams & Free Music [Because You Can't Go]

Last night I went out for 10 cent wings with a buddy of mine who is heading to his first Bonnaroo today. He asked me if I had any tips for him. Here was my advice:

1. Hydrate.
2. Make friends with your neighbors.
3. Do Whatcha Wanna.

I also may or may not have emphasized the $1 popsicles at the Whole Foods Tent. I have to say, it was some of the best advice I've ever given. I shared a few of my favorite, "Things I Learned At Bonnaroo" stories, we slammed some wings and beers, and then I promptly skulked home in the rain and cried myself to sleep.

Okay, so Bonnaroo wasn't in the cards this year. Thankfully, there's an alternative to sitting in your underwear in a darkened room lit only by the lonely, gray glow of your laptop, staring misty-eyed at old pictures and clinging to memories of the great times you had while swilling Wild Turkey out of the bottle and listening to "Everybody Hurts" on repeat. There's a wealth of virtual 'Roo experiences available for us to at least attempt to enjoy the biggest festival of the summer without making the insanely long drive, losing our sandals in the mud, getting cooked out of our tents by the oppressive Tennessee sun, and brushing up against 80,000 of our crunchiest friends.

(Yes, I'm also pretending not to miss every single one of those things.)

First off, everyone's favorite pick-me-up: Free music! Via Spin and NPR, we've got a pair of mixes featuring some of this year's Bonnaroo artists, including Kings of Leon, the National, Phoenix, the Gaslight Anthem, Mumford & Sons, Tinariwen, Dan Deacon, the Black Keys, Ozomatli, and more.

Next, NPR is at it again. They will be streaming sets live from Bonnaroo all weekend long, from 1 p.m. to 3 a.m. Friday through Sunday, with several sets getting archived for on-demand listening. The list of 40+ artists already on the schedule is damn impressive, with more certainly to come.

Finally, my favorite discovery of this year's festival season so far: Live Video Webcasts! I enjoyed these greatly during Coachella and I'm psyched to report that the same will be happening at Bonnaroo on their official YouTube channel. Check out the full schedule below:

Friday, June 11th

Julia Nunes - 12: 15 pm - 1:15 pm
Neon Indian - 1:15 pm - 1:45 pm
Carolina Chocolate Drops - 1:45 pm - 3:00 pm
The Temper Trap - 3:00 pm - 3:30 pm
The Dodos - 3:30 pm - 4:00 pm
Damian Marley & Nas- 4:00 pm - 5:30 pm
Mayer Hawtorne and the Country - 5:30 pm - 5:45 pm
The National - 5:45 pm - 7:15 pm
Tori Amos - 7:15 pm - 8:00 pm
Michael Franti & Spearhead - 8:00 pm - 9:30 pm
Tenacious D - 9:30 pm - 11:00 pm

Saturday, June 12th

Punch Brothers ft. Chris Thile - 12:30 pm - 1:30 pm
Gaslight Anthem - 1:30 pm - 2:30 pm
Norah Jones - 2:30 pm - 4:00 pm
Trombone Shorty - 4:00 pm - 5:00 pm
Mumford & Sons - 5:00 pm - 6:00 pm
The Dead Weather - 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Umphrey's McGee - 7:30 pm - 7:55 pm
Jimmy Cliff - 7:55 pm - 9:25 pm
LCD Soundsystem - 9:25 pm - 10:55 pm
Kings of Leon - 10:55 pm - 11:30 pm
Jay -Z - 11:30 pm - 1:30 am

Sunday, June 13th

The Avett Brothers - 12:30 pm 1:45 pm
John Butler Trio - 1:45 pm - 3:00 pm
Regina Spektor - 3:00 pm - 4:00 pm
John Fogerty - 4:00 pm - 5:30 pm
Weezer - 5:30 pm - 6:30 pm
Zac Brown Band - 6:30 pm - 8:00 pm
Ween - 8:00 pm - 8:30 pm
Rise Against - 8:30 pm - 9:00 pm
Dave Matthews Band - 9:00 pm - 11:30 pm

So there you go--all the festival without all the hippies. A vicarious experience nearly as good as the real thing! Alright, I wish I were going too. Who's got my heady Wild Turkey?

Jersey Shore Season 2 Preview [Fist Pumping]

Jersey Shore returns to MTV on July 29, but thankfully we don't have to wait that long for our first look at Season 2. Courtesy of Vulture, here's the full first segment of Episode 1. Nearly 15 minutes of fist-pumping fury, highlights of which include:

Sitch Sorentino and Pauly D vs. Shnooks and JenniWoww in a road trip race to Miami. Each team of super best friends wants first pick of rooms. Only one duo will emerge victorious, presumably when the other loses control of the car while applying a fresh coat of bronzer and explodes in a hairspray-fueled fireball.

Sammi and Ronnie broke up! How completely unexpected! We did not see this coming! As they down the RonRon juice, Ronnie's boys tell him to give the other guys shit for the "double baggers" they bring home.

Snooks has a gorilla juicehead boyfriend of her very own! She cooks him dinner! ("How many balls do you want? I want two. In my face." Because she's cooking meatballs! Snookums is punny!) They are totally in love after two blissful months together and she says she doesn't want to cheat. She definitely will after a few shots of SoCo, she says, but not because she wants to.

Trashbags returns! Angelina has apparently stayed in touch with The Situation and Pauly D, who she may or may not have sexed, and is heading down to Miami for her second chance at lifelong friendships and memories reality whore superstardom. Her first stop on the road to redemption: A Brazilian wax. That'll show those jealous bitches who keeps it classy.

Snooki discovers fried pickles at a diner in Georgia. World, ROCKED.

And also Vinny was there or something.

Watch the video and get (fist) pumped. July 29 will be here before you know it, so get your GTL on and stay fresh to death. I'll be here getting some new rules together for the Jersey Shore Drinking Game. Be sure to send in your suggestions!

Watch the 2010 MTV Movie Awards at MTV.com!

Friday Jams: Andre 3000 does The Beatles, new Kanye & Eminem, more

Did your short week not feel quite so short? Neither did mine, but screw that--It's Friday! Sweet, sweet Friday! To keep your spirits high and your weekend bumpin, we're kicking out the Friday Jams because, well, that's just what we do around here.

First up, Andre 3000 gets his Beatle on in Nike's new Kobe Bryant spot. Really glad to see Ewing's signature Garden pump-up make it into the mix.



Next, new joints from two of rap's finest.
Kanye West (thankfully) gets back to rapping on "Power," likely the first single off of his upcoming new album Good Ass Job. Welcome back, Mr. Gay Fish, and huge props for the King Crimson (!) sample. Meanwhile, Eminem's new album, Recovery, drops June 22 and features this jam with Pink called "Won't Back Down."

Speaking of hip-hop giants, Nas has been at it for 20 years (we're old) and Steady Bloggin is celebrating with an exhaustive year-by-year breakdown of the best verses of his career, accompanied by a mix called 20 Years 20 Verses. (Incidentally, I'm trying to hit up Nas & Damian Marley at the Williamsburg Waterfront in Brooklyn on July 31 if any of you care to join me.)

Finally, B.o.B and Lupe Fiasco jump in on Janelle Monáe's "Tightrope." The last time Schiff Happens was in a room with Bobby Ray and Lu, the party positively jumped off. This track is equally dope.

Recently, we heard rumors that two Schiff Happens favorites may have cosmically collided over the winter. However, while tales of Springsteen roaming the same halls as Sitch Sorentino, DJ Pauly D, and The Grenade are completely unsubstantiated, The Boss truly did appear on this favorite show of mine.

What is (the one night I fail to watch) Jeopardy?

Via Fuckyeahtheboss (again, I really can't emphasize enough the awesomeness of Tumblr), check out last night's Springsteen Jeopardy clues. How much richer would your Boss knowledge have made you? I certainly would have made it a true daily double.

For those who missed the Bruce Springsteen category on Jeopardy:

• $200 - After a 1976 gig in Memphis, Bruce scaled the wall of this music icon’s home and was busted by a security guard.
• $400 - In July 1984, this Boss album began a 7-week stay atop the charts, it stayed on the survey for 139 week
• $600 - In an unprecedented move in 1975, these 2 rival magazines both featured cover stories on Bruce.
• $800 - On August 11, 1989, Bruce joined this noted drummer onstage for 4 songs, including “With A Little Help From My Friends.”
• $1000 - Bruce’s 2006 album “We Shall Overcome” paid tribute to this folk music legend who turned 87 that year.

There also non-Springsteen related categories entitled “The Boss” and “Born To ‘Run.’”

"Is there anybody alive out there?!?"

Newark: A Great Place to Visit...If You're A Bullet

Just in time for Memorial Day, from the New Jersey Department of Tourism: Still unsure of your holiday weekend travel plans? Head on out to picturesque Newark! It's totally safe to visit - We just had our first murder-free month in 44 years!



Welcome to Newark!
Homeless people, hookers, and crack bums
There's nowhere they won't poo.

Props to The Sexy Armpit. Always doing Jersey proud, Jay.

Jack White & Jay-Z: Look! It really did happen!

Via Nah Right, proof that the Jay-Z/Jack White collaboration of your dreams did very much happen in real life.

"Ray Bans" should be the dopest of dopeness. In the meantime, here's "Got Yourself A Cannon," the Jay-Z/White Stripes mash-up from the still-awesome Stars & Stripes.

Live from New Jersey: The Freakin' Super Bowl!

On a day that had already brought us an unprecedented collision of Jersey icons, we got some even bigger, fist-pumpin-er, Garden State news when it was announced that the Super Bowl would be coming to the Meadowlands in 2014. New Jersey was already home to everything that was ever great in America, so this was only natural and a long time coming.

Which exit? How about that one, smartass?

Some will whine, "But what about the weather?"

What about you shut your freakin face? This is football! What, is your vagina gonna freeze?

Some will cheer, "The Greatest Game in the Greatest City! NYC 2014, baby!"

But make no mistake, this is New Jersey's Super Bowl. New York might host the parties and (hopefully) the victory parade, but everyone knows that the Giants and Giants Stadium are New Jersey. Period, end of sentence. And yeah, that's Giants Stadium. You can stick your $500 million naming rights where the sun don't shine... South Jersey.

Worlds Are Colliding! [Needs More Bruce]

Just saw this headline on NJ.com that nearly blew my mind:

Did Bruce Springsteen stay at the MTV 'Jersey Shore' house?

New cast-mates enjoying the infamous hot tub?

Could it really be? Did these two great New Jersey institutions and Schiff Happens favorites come together at some point this winter? The video in the article gives us only a thinly veiled, winking acknowledgment from the Seaside Police Chief that The Boss may have visited the house, so I'm gonna bet that it didn't happen on account of the world didn't explode. However, if these allegations are true, does this make the Jersey Shore house Springsteen's most famous residence since 7 1/2 West End Court? Did he get any classic songwriting done like he did back in that little Long Branch house?

"Well, Paulie D and The Situation well you know they're gonna be there.
Sloppy Snooks, RonRon, and Vinny they'll be comin' up for air..."

One thing we do know for certain: The Guidos got hoagies. Also, is there a more Situation sandwich than baloney, cheese, and mayo? I'm so glad this show is almost back.

I’m Gonna Call It Good

Much goodness abounds around the interwebz these days, so here is some of it for you now.

I have been watching HBO’s newest David Simon creation, Treme, and like many have been wondering exactly where it’s going and debating with myself internally over whether I actually like it. One thing that I and everyone seem to agree on, though, is that some positively fan-freakin-tastic music has been the star of the show so far. To wit, the Internet has given birth to Songs From Treme. The creator of this most awesome Tumblr openly admits that he is “not at all qualified to run a blog about New Orleans music” (Although he links us to several people who are). Dude doesn’t even have HBO! He’s just a guy who digs the incredible music of Treme – hey, that’s just like us! How very accessible! *(For more Treme music, check out the show's official site, which offers full music playlists for each episode with links to buy every song on iTunes)

While we’re on the subject of New Orleans and music, we have to talk a little bit about Jazz Fest. The two-week long party wraps up this weekend, and since neither Smellson, nor the Rossman, nor several of my coworkers that will be there made any offer or attempt to stow me away as they head out to NoLa – friends like these, I know – that means another weekend of vicarious living. And just like with Coachella, that means we’ll be bumping webcasts and mixtapes (full listings below) while another incredible music weekend goes down somewhere other than where we are. Don’t know about you out there, but Schiff Happens is going to have to do something about this festival drought really soon. Bonnaroo gets more enticing every time you look at that lineup, and it’s not entirely out of the question… yet. One major question mark remains, thought: Who’s coming with me?

Finally, B.o.B's debut album, The Adventures of Bobby Ray, is finally out as of yesterday. You already know how good the live show is, so you're gonna want to go and get that.

-----

Tipitina’s Jazz Fest Webcast Schedule:

Wednesday 4.28.2010
10 PM CT: Railroad Earth

Thursday 4.29.2010
9 PM: North Mississippi Allstars plus City Champs
2 AM CT: Karl Denson's Tiny Universe

Friday 4.30.2010
9 PM CT: The Radiators
2 AM CT: The Greyboy Allstars

Saturday 5.1.2010
9 PM CT: Ani DiFranco
2 AM CT: Trombone Shorty & Orleans Ave. CD Release Party with Special Guests TBA

-----

New Orleans Jazz Fest Mix (via Coventry Music):

Disc 1:

01. Big Chief - Professor Longhair
02. Cabbage Alley - The Meters
03. Junco Partner - James Booker
04. Iko Iko - The Dixie Cups
05. Yes We Can Can - Lee Dorsey
06. Hey Pocky A-Way - The Meters
07. Handa Wanda - Big Chief Bo Dollis & The Wild Magnolia Mardi Gras Indians
08. Carnival Time - Al Johnson
09. Mardi Gras Jig - The Bluerunners
10. Tipitina - Professor Longhair
11. Blues for Ben - Stanton Moore
12. Huey Smith Medley - Dr. John
13. Mardi Gras Mambo - The Meters
14. Sew, Sew, Sew - The Wild Magnolias
15. Mardi Gras Day - Dr. John
16. Bosco Stomp - The Red Stick Ramblers
17. Cissy Strut - The Meters
18. Look-Ka Py Py - The Meters
19. Zydeco Gris-Gris - Pine Leaf Boys
20. Mardi Gras In New Orleans - Professor Longhair

Disc 2:

01. Walking To New Orleans - Fats Domino
02. The Second Line - Stop, Inc.
03. Funky Miracle - The Meters
04. Bon Ton Roulet - Clarence "Bon Ton" Garlow
05. Brother John/Iko Iko - The Neville Brothers
06. Talkin' 'Bout New Orleans - The Meters
07. Let The Good Times Roll - Shirley & Lee
08. Ya Ya - Lee Dorsey
09. Don't You Just Know It - Huey "Piano" Smith & The Clowns
10. I Like It Like That - Chris Kenner
11. Ooh Poo Pah Doo - Jessie Hill
12. Night People - Lee Dorsey
13. Down South In New Orleans - The Band (w/ Bobby Charles)
14. Here Come the Girls - Ernie K-Doe
15. Made In The Shade - The Red Stick Ramblers
16. Soul Second Line - Papa Grows Funk
17. Ain't Nothin' But A Party - Dirty Dozen Brass Band
18. They All Ask'd For You - The Meters
19. Zydeco Mardi Gras - Pine Leaf Boys
20. Do Whatcha Wanna - Rebirth Brass Band
21. When The Saints Go Marching In - Preservation Hall Jazz Band with Walter "Wolfman" Washington and Theresa Andersson

The Kickdrums | COACHELLA | The Indio Sessions: Day 3

One more day of Coachella - don't you totally feel like you were there?



Yeah, me neither. But hey, our boy B.o.B closes out the mixtape series and hits the stage tonight (webcast at 7pm!), so you'll at least have one up on your festival-going friends when they come back all "We went to Coachella and ZOMG we saw the next big thing!" and you tell them you already knew.

The Kickdrums | COACHELLA | The Indio Sessions: Day 2

Here's Day 2 of The Kickdrums' Indio Sessions Coachella mixtapes for the rest of us who still, try as we might, can't wish our way to Indio.

I will say that, although I was skeptical, the webcast is more than a little bit of awesome. If you have no plans for tonight, or if you want to change up that tired old pregame mix you've been using, I'd recommend you call up a couple of your fellow Coachella-less friends, tell them to bring over their laptops, and set up three "stages" around your place for a simulated Coachella Saturday. Call it No-chella. You still won't be there, but you'll be able to watch all of the hottest acts unfettered by masses of gyrating hippies and/or hipsters. At this point, I'm not sure which of these two groups dominates the festival scene more, but I know that it's always a good thing to avoid either.

The Kickdrums | Coachella | The Indio Sessions: Day 1

Just 10 miles to Indio. Too bad you ain't going!

Hey, internet! Are you like me? Still in denial that you won't be at the Empire Polo Grounds when Coachella 2010 kicks off in just a few hours? Well, The Kickdrums got your back with The Indio Sessions, a mixtape series featuring highlights from a slew of Coachella's finest - just like being there!

/facepalm

Alright, so it can't possibly compare, but these mixtapes and a webcast series being promoted by 5 Gum (facebook here, myspace here) are all we have. I'll be sure to post the Day 2 and Day 3 Indio Sessions tapes tomorrow and Sunday to help move you from denial through the various stages of Coachella-less grief. Of course, if you're a regular here, you've probably already found Day 1 and Day 2.

On to the weekend, people! Yankee games (no rain! no rain!), keggers, and a bunch of running. What's everyone getting into??

Lupe Fiasco and B.o.B Live at the Fillmore Irving Plaza, NYC, 4/10/2010

I wanted to get some thoughts down before this became untimely, and then I woke up and it was Wednesday. Well, screw it - here are some thoughts on Lupe Fiasco and B.o.B bringing the Steppin Lasers Tour to the Fillmore Irving Plaza last Saturday, April 10:

I don't want to say that I was more excited for the opener than the headliner (even though I sort of did), but having seen Lupe once before, I already knew the kind of high-energy, max-effort performance he was going to bring to the stage. On the flip side, I have had my eye on the Atlanta-based rapper once known as Bobby Ray since the very early days of Schiff Happens, and now that my attention has finally been rewarded recently with the massive success of the single "Nothin' On You," I was pretty damn hyped to see what kind of performance we were going to get out of him, especially considering that he's on the bill for all those awesome summer festivals I wish I were attending. Actually, let's keep things positive and not get started down that bitter, festival-less road.

I was a bit nervous when he opened the set with just a mic and a d.j., especially knowing that he's all about playing the guitar and playing with the typical rap style, but after two or three songs his full band was out there rocking behind him. Soon enough after that, B.o.B pulled out the guitar and let us know that he likes to name all his axes -- a feather-adorned acoustic, we learned, was known as "War Hawk" -- urging the crowd to offer suggestions for guitar names on his twitter page. Although there was a glimpse of it during an a capella run-through of "Generation Lost," Bob's true passion emerged when he was armed with the six-string. He's a talented rapper and lyricist, but his talent goes well beyond that. He has a wide range of abilities that could allow him to reach a much broader audience, which he displayed during an passionately-delivered acoustic number called "Letters From Vietnam."


Even though I went in hyping the emcee to my concert crew, I was surprised to see as many fans as I did who were not only eager to pour out their b.O.b love, but displayed a high degree of familiarity with the music. This was definitely not lost on Bobby Ray, either, appearing flat-out giddy at times as he chuckled his way through the set and definitely had a few "Wow, really? Okay!" moments when the crowd sang along or responded to certain things. He displayed his incredible talent and had a great time while doing it, and as a lover of live music, that's all I ever ask of the performers I go to see. B.o.B made a lot of believers at the Fillmore on Saturday night, and I suspect many more will join them after his debut album, The Adventures of Bobby Ray, comes out on April 27.



As for the headliner, the room was packed to the brim and teeming with excitement for Lupe's set, and he delivered in the usual body-heaving, shadow-boxing, sweat-flying fashion that his fans (and critics) have come to expect. Personally, I'll never understand the backhanded comments sometimes directed Lupe's way that he goes "too hard" on stage, like it's an act that somehow detracts from the musical performance. To me, all of that stuff is the heart of live music. You're not just up there to play your music for me, you're there to create a body and soul experience. Happily for me and the screaming, unwashed masses jamming the Fillmore, Lupe set out to do just that as he ran through a mix of fan favorites and new joints from his upcoming album Lasers.

Classic favorites like "Go Go Gadget Flow" and "Superstar" notwithstanding, there were two highlights for me. Alright, three if you include Lupe introducing Diggy Simmons (yeah, that Diggy Simmons) as his newest label- and supergroup project-mate (I know, I know). However, from our angle, we couldn't see young Digs, and we were always Russy fans anyway, so we're going with two main highlights. First, Lupe's performance of the new song "Beautiful Lasers," which he prefaced by telling the emotional tale of how he the song was born during a dark period in his life as he "put down the gun and picked the pen up" to write it. If that is to be taken literally, it gives whole new meaning to "Hip Hop Saved My Life." But even if it didn't happen exactly like that, it's some heavy imagery and a profound reminder that life is a gift, and there's always more to gain by giving a piece of yourself to the world than selfishly taking yourself out of it.



The other standout moment from the night was the final number - a freestyle that lasted nearly 10 minutes. This wasn't your typical freestyle, which is generally speaking less a freestyle and more pre-written rhymes rapped as though they're being improvised. This was very clearly Lupe Fiasco weaving spoken-word poetry all alone on stage. I was impressed, if not pumping my fist and yelling "OOOOHHH!" after every verse (although, as you'll hear if you watch the video below, some idiots can't be helped, regardless of the setting...."Shots fired!!").



A lot of people like to hate on hip-hop as a washed out, auto-tuned landscape overrun with fake gangsters and bereft of creativity, but B.o.B and Lupe Fiasco put on a show in NYC over the weekend that displayed the best of the artistic expression, creativity and range of talent that the genre has to offer.


P.S. Yes, I took those (better than average considering I was in a packed crowd fairly far away) photos.

And because live music is awesome, click here for a few B.o.B tracks from Sunday night's show. [All The Way Live]

WTF It's April? [Schiff Happens Quarterly Review]

College basketball is over,* baseball has (finally!) begun - it's April. In what feels like a flash, we're already a quarter of the way into 2010. It's time for a look back - and a look ahead. In the spirit of my recent return to the workforce (more on that momentarily), it's time for an official Schiff Happens First Quarter Review.

Entering Q1, Schiff Happens was at a crossroads, still reeling from the epic suckfest of a year so brutal it can't even be spoken of by name. Yet out of the shitheap came a glimmer of hope, dreams of promise for a great year in 2010. There were big challenges and high expectations ahead.**

We started off Q1 by bidding a bittersweet farewell to the Greatest Reality TV Show in the History of Ever. I was high from all the hairspray fumes I inhaled getting ready for the finale party, so it took me a few extra days to let it go. Not to worry, though, fist-pumpers. Looking ahead, we should be lucky enough to have Sitch, Snooks, Pauly D and the whole gang back in our lives - hopefully late Q2, almost certainly early Q3. As if it were possible, the show will become even less Jersey, as season 2 will take place in Miami.

Another Q1 highlight: The Schiff Happens name made the jump across the pond. I was interviewed by a BBC documentary crew and poised to appear alongside such Internet royalty as Al Gore, Tim Berners-Lee and Bill Gates. However, the BBC web player only allowed you to access the show from inside the UK. Oh, sweet irony! I wondered, "If you get interviewed by a prestigious international television network for being the guy who defriended his facebook friends for a free Whopper, and nobody in America can watch it, did it really happen?" It's the age-old philosophical conundrum. However, I am delighted to report that as we enter Q2, the show has at least made its way to YouTube. Enjoy the video below and have at it in the comments.



My primary Q1 objective was always to get a job, but due to financial constraints, that missive quickly morphed into "Generate income by any means necessary." I found myself taking a part-time gig shilling sneakers in one of New York's oldest sporting goods stores, which, as part-time gigs go, really wasn't bad. Frankly, it forced me to drag my ass out of bed in the morning, shed the Snuggie of unemployment, and begin to rejoin the rest of society. In the end, I'm grateful that the opportunity came along. As always seems to be the case, my job search was a case of feast or famine, and after months of turning up nothing, contacts were being established and networks were expanding almost immediately upon starting my new role. Within a few weeks I was interviewing and, I am excited to say, accepted a brand new full-time job. I try not to to mix business with the proceedings around here, but I will say that I am working at one of the top young internet companies around right now, I'm surrounded by bright, focused people in a laid back atmosphere that encourages creativity, and am extremely well-nourished thanks to the greatest office kitchen I have ever been around.

In addition to getting me re-focused and refreshed, working in the sporting goods store also led to something of a running renaissance for me. Spending so much time around running shoes, runners and the sport of running in general inspired me to sign up for a half marathon and train seriously for the first time since my high school glory days. All of a sudden, I'm on a team for charity and committed to run the ING New York City Marathon in November. More on all this to follow in the weeks and months ahead (and trust me, there will much more because you're all going to be donating), but for now I hope you'll direct your attention to Schiff Happens' most recent side venture: Run, Schiff, Run! Follow my awesome Tumblr for every mile - if you ever run with me or come watch me cross a finish line, I'll be sure you get a cameo. Running: an unexpected Q1 development that created new goals to carry us through Q2, 3, and 4. Who knew?

In the final post of Q1, I promised a future post on Festival Season, but looking ahead to Q2 and beyond, it's simply an impossibility that Schiff Happens will be able to attend one of the most perfectly constructed festivals in recent memory (of this generation?) or make a repeat appearance at the big 'Roo, which gets ever-more enticing each time you put it away and come back to it. So what does that leave us, musically, going forward? For starters, a lot of vicarious living. I've been loving The Kickdrums' Indio Sessions mixtapes for the last couple of weeks (Day 1, Day 2) and am excited for the release of Day 3 to complete the set. We're also left with prayers for miracles. There's a less than minuscule, impossible chance that I may be in New Orleans with the new job for the last 3 days of April, positioning me perfectly for Weekend 2 of Jazz Fest. Send the good vibes my way, people!

Mostly, though, we're now charged with creating an old-fashioned summer tour out of the local shows at our disposal, unaided by a huge festival to help catch all the big names of the now. That means Lupe Fiasco (with opening act b.O.b., which, truth be told, I may be more excited for) this Saturday night at Irving Plaza. That means I'm still intrigued by the possibility of checking out newly reformed Sublime With Rome at Roseland Ballroom in May. I know it's not the same without Brad, but Sublime remains one of my favorite bands of all time and I'm willing to see what Eric and Bud have to offer with a new frontman. That means the big musical story of the summer will be Phish. Again. A year after I said 5 shows in one summer was too many, I'll be heading out to 4 in 3 cities from late-Q2 to mid-Q3 Amazing how the more things change, the more they stay the same.

The end of Q1 has brought back the gorgeous weather and Sundays in Central Park that we longed for throughout the snowy, frigid winter. We've got more than a few excellent positives to build on as we forge deeper into 2010, a year that began with such high hopes.*** The seeds have been planted and we're on the verge of greatness, now we just have to see it through. Of course, we can still improve - not a single Springsteen mention in an entire quarterly report?! - but so far, 2010, you're so money and you don't even know it.****


*Sitting down to author this post as the starting lineups are being introduced. I don't see it shaking out this way, but I really hope Butler takes down the Dookies. Wouldn't be the first time Schiff Happens looked on and blogged in amazement while an unlikely upstart took down Coach K's cake eaters.

**I'm still dreaming of a world where Butler beats Duke in the NCAA Championship. Still don't think it will happen, but the Bulldogs are putting up a fight (down 2 with the ball 8:21 to go in the 1st half)

***High hopes including watching Duke lose in the NCAA Tournament Championship Game... to Butler. Bulldogs have the ball with 13 seconds left, trailing by just 1. If this happens, anything truly is possible for us good guys in 2010. Could it be???

****Gordon Hayward just missed a potential game-winner for Butler that was nearly identical to Sean Singletary's game-winner vs. Duke in the game referenced above. Freakin' Duke. At least Singler got trucked on the final play. This game is over, and this post needs to be too. G'night, Canada!

Friday Jams are back on the eve of Worldwide Fame

Hey there, Schiff Heads! I know Ive been gone for a minute, but I told you things would be different in 2010 and that I'd never leave you hanging indefinitely like I did a few times back in The Year That Was Naught, and I'm sticking to my promise.

In the coming days we'll be breaking down the lineups for my three favorite festivals coming up this season and trying to decide which one you should be zeroing in on if you can only attend one, as all early signs indicate will be the case for Schiff Happens. However, the focus today is once again my ever-expanding global fame.

That's right, friends and fans of Schiff, the glorious moment is upon us! Tomorrow night on BBC Two, the final installment of The Virtual Revolution, starring the one and only Schiff Happens as "The Whopper Guy," airs for the whole world to see. Now, in this case, "The whole world" does not necessarily refer to the United States, or anywhere outside of the UK. However, the full episodes (at least the first 2) have been included in what the show's site is calling its 3D Documentary Explorer, a nifty little device that allows you to watch the shows in full, or explore individual elements in depth via a web of interconnected sites related to elements of each episode. Hopefully, Episode 4 will follow suit in due time. If not, we'll be here, waiting on pins and needles for The Virtual Revolution to finally land on BBC America.

So to celebrate this momentous achievement in Schiff Happens fame, we're bringing back a long-forgotten tradition that never should have been abandoned. Ladies and gentlemen, a warm welcome back to Friday Jams!

It's only appropriate that this week's Friday Jams feature a meeting of great minds from New York City and England, and with that in mind we give to you something we've been meaning to share for a minute now: Wu-Tang Vs. The Beatles: Enter The Magical Mystery Chambers.

I know you might be thinking, "Damn it, Schiff, another mash-up!?" or "Didn't Dangermouse already do this on The Grey Album?" but this isn't what you're used to, or what you're expecting. Turns out a 28-year-old music teacher from Brighton, England named Tom Caruana spent two months putting this together, going beyond the typical mash-up style of just slapping a vocal track over a different beat. Chambers mashes Wu-Tang a capellas with archival sound from interviews and newsreels, alternate instrumental samples and cover versions of Beatles classics, creating a new kind of mashup altogether. It had been downloaded over 27,000 times as of last month, and it's sort of amazing. Plus, the genius behind it is a freaking music teacher, an everyday bum like the rest of us, who says that if he ever met Paul or Ringo he'd say “'Cheers for putting in the great work over the years. You’re legends.' And then give them a high-five and run off quickly.” And if that doesn't get you, just look at him.



Ah-dorable.

Now go download it (It has been pulled from Caruana's site but that link will let you at least listen to it and points you to a direct download link. Sorry, best I could do), then keep an eye out over the weekend for your favorite international superstar. Like our friends across the pond might chant at their soccer matches, there's only one Schiff Happens.

Schiff Happens Has Officially Gone International [Fame]

Those of you who have stuck with me since the beginning might recall that around this time last year (almost to the day, wow), Schiff Happens rose to national prominence when I was featured in the New York Times as the world's foremost expert on defriending people on Facebook in exchange for a free Whopper sandwich from Burger King. Word of my fame eventually traveled across the pond to the UK, and towards the end of The Year That Was Naught, Schiff Happens took the next step toward world domination when I was interviewed about the same topic on camera by the BBC. You read that correctly - the freaking BBC! We international, baby!

Unfortunately, I managed to blog through the entire Rest Of '09 without mentioning this little nugget of awesomeness (Or, I should say, quarter-pounder of awesomeness. See what I did there?). It happened during the World Series, so I guess it got lost in the shuffle of me attending Game 2 for free and meeting Uncle Jesse. Makes sense, really. I mean...Stamos. Anyway, it turns out that throughout the last year, the BBC had been putting together a massive documentary project about the World Wide Web, looking back at 20 years of the Internet to try and express how it has dramatically changed our world and predict where it might be heading. Pretty intriguing stuff. The fourth episode of the series is all about how the Web has changed the nature of human interaction, and in their research the producers at the BBC had stumbled upon the Whopper Sacrifice and fallen in love with its subversive nature (as I had) as a case study in how we define friendship on the web. They contacted me via Facebook, naturally, and asked me if I would be willing to tell my Whopper story on camera, and ultimately be featured in the project. I can vividly recall Susanna Posnett, the Assistant Producer who first spoke to me about the show, telling me in her classic English accent, "My director told me to find a Whopper Guy and, well, you're my Whopper Guy." Now if that doesn't scream "You've made it," I don't know what does.

I was happy to oblige, and the rest, as we say around here, is history. About a week after that initial conversation, I was sitting in a midtown diner next to Dr. Aleks Krotoski, the host of the documentary, telling the tale that made Schiff Happens famous. A cameraman stood behind the diner counter and filmed us as we conversed, with matching plates of burgers and fries in front of us, about the utter hilarity inherent in deleting an online relationship with ten people you probably weren't even friends with in the first place for the equivalent of one-tenth of a fast food sandwich that you probably didn't even want to eat in the first place. It was an extremely fun and memorable experience, made even more rewarding by the high praise I received from Krotoski, Posnett, and director Molly Milton, who agreed that I was one of their favorite interviews of the entire series. To put that in perspective, these people traveled the globe interviewing all-time geniuses and Internet hall-of-famers including Bill Gates, Al Gore, Arianna Huffington, Stephen Fry, Mark Zuckerberg, and Tim Berners-Lee. Oh, you say you invented the World Wide Web? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening - I'm the Whopper Guy!

This is all to bring you up to speed and let you know that the series, titled "The Virtual Revolution," started last night with Episode 1: "The Great Leveling?" on BBC 2, and debuts at the end of February on BBC World. The series will be broadcast in the US, so all of you, my tens of adoring fans, will definitely be able to watch my leap from mere national fame to worldwide superstardom. Dates for American airings are still being sorted out, but I am in contact with the show's directors and will be sure to get that info to you as soon as it's available. They've also promised me DVD copies of the entire thing, so maybe we'll get a special Schiff Happens screening together. For now, check out the preview video below, follow the series on Twitter @BBCDigRev, and be sure to check out the program's official web site. It's chock full of interviews and source video and all kinds of great information on the series, and is in itself a must-see example of open source goodness for all you Internetty types. In fact, as incentive for you to see what it's all about, Schiff Happens will personally buy a free Whopper meal for the first person who can find me in the annals of the Virtual Revolution site. I promise, I'm there somewhere.

Until then, stay tuned right here. Schiff Happens, the global phenomenon coming soon to a burger joint near you.