Friday, July 16, 2010

Does the Jersey Shore have a Shark Situation?

First Humpbacks, now sharks? Snooki's gonna need a bigger boat.

Alright, so it's not the Matawan Man-Eater of 1916 that inspired Jaws, but there have been three shark sightings this week along a five-mile stretch of beach in Ocean County where Schiff Happens and Co. can often be found every summer. But rest easy, friends! The 21-year-old hungover lifeguard says there's no need to fear:
"Yes, there are really sharks out there," Seaside Park lifeguard C.J. Ratshin, 21, wearily told the one of the "tons of people coming up and asking if the sharks will eat them."

Raising his voice to be heard over news helicopters buzzing the beach in vain attempts to spot the long-gone sharks, Ratshin told bathers, "the sharks won’t eat you if you don’t step on them."
Well then. Carry on.

I can only assume that the Jersey Shore sharks out there have been reading The Sexy Armpit this month and saw their shot at the spotlight. Either that or they're getting ready for Shark Week like the rest of us. Speaking of which, how badly do you wish you worked in the Discovery Channel building right now?

1 comment:

Jay Amabile said...

Schiff you f'n rule man, I really appreciate the link! Lovin' all your Jersey Shore stuff. I knew you would be excited for the season premiere! lol It was every bit as awesome/terrible as I thought it would be.