Like everyone else, I was overjoyed last Thursday when, after all the long months of waiting, Jersey Shore finally came back.
Okay, so calling the premiere of Season 2 a bit of a letdown would be a juiced up understatement. I still think it can be good, but it's apparent already that it might not ever again be great. That said, "I feel like a Pilgrim from the friggin' '20s washing shit right now!" isn't a bad one-liner from Snooks. Here's hoping it picks up.
Meanwhile, lost in the fist-pumping shuffle (oh shit, I think I just accidentally coined a new line dance), was the impending return of another Schiff Happens favorite, a man who never disappoints because he's better than fucking everyone. That's right - on September 26, Kenny Powers is fucking IN. And he's got a brand new endorsement deal.
From the most appropriate source I can think of to bring forth some great news in a day that has already been chock full of WIN, NJ.com reports that HBO has renewed Eastbound and Down. You just can't stop a bulletproof tiger. FUCKINAY RIGHT! KENNY POWERS IS BACK! This is most pleasing news and welcome relief for yours truly and at least one fan of this here blog.
LOS ANGELES, April 8, 2009 - HBO has renewed the comedy series EASTBOUND & DOWN for a second season, it was announced today by Michael Lombardo, president, Programming Group and West Coast Operations, HBO. Production on the new episodes will begin later this year, with debut slated for 2010.
For the full press release, click here. For hilarity, watch below.
If you won't listen to my words, then listen to my dancing feet....Work, drugs.
All kinds of stupid shit sucks, but here is some of the stuff that positively did not suck this week. If you're not on the list, try to do better on Monday.
[You're fuckin out!] Eastbound and Down ended its first season, which was the farthest thing from suck on TV in a long time. The show needs a second season to fully run its course, so here's to the glorious return of Kenny Powers (that week, whenever it happens, will also not suck). Something that kind of sucked was the end of Flight of the Conchords for what, in my opinion, will be forever (until they make a movie, which will definitely not suck). I'm glad I was on board for the entire run of this show, and will miss them when they're farming in England or whatever.
[They Took 'er Jobs!] This week's South Park was, I thought, the best it has been in a while. It certainly did not suck. I blogged about it a little for Pink Slipped, and I'm too lazy to get into many details right now. All I'll say is South Park solved the economy--it still doesn't make any sense. That and, "They took our jobs!" This was my favorite scene.
[Teaching Shaq To Twitter] I can only assume I'm not the only one of Shaq's 430,000something followers who crossed over to the Twitterverse to learn from its most Shaqtastic big man. Naturally I have incredible respect for Kathleen Hessert, founder and president of Sports Media Challenge, but most importantly "The woman who taught Shaq how to Tweet." From the bottom of my heart, Kathleen Hessert, thank you. Without you, there would be no games of twag, insomniac bathroom breaks, or gems like this from the Big Aristotle. Our lives are forever richer for it.
[It's Funny Because It's Twue] Speaking of twitter, this cartoon also helped fill our week with something other than suck. That fail whale is one scary fish. Mammal, whatever. (It's actually so on point that it hurts a little bit if you twitter. Which...some of us do...)
[Fists Full of Childhood Awesome] The only thing that sucks about this item is that I'm the last person to post it. But let's not have such a sucky attitude about it. You've already seen the Where The Wild Things Are trailer, but you haven't seen it here yet, and you know you're going to watch it every time you see it somewhere for the first time because this trailer is effing beyond. It's just beyond. Maybe the best children's story ever, directed by Spike Jonze, beautiful footage edited seamlessly to Arcade Fire's "Wake Up." For real for real--can I coin#WTWTAFTW ?? I'll tell you this much right now: Schiff Happens birthday party = Where The Wild Things Are. (I'll be psyched for this at 26, which speaks to what a masterpiece Maurice Sendak's book is. But imagine if I were turning plain old 6 in October. BEST birthday party EVERRR!)
[Winner] Flying sucks. Flying with this guy doing the safety announcement sucks a whole lot less. Well done, sir.
And this has been stuff that didn't suck this week. You know what's not making next week's cut? This post. Schiff, out.
Even as I watched last night, I knew that Flight of the Conchords might be coming to an end (SPOILER ALERT...damn I hate that "spoiler alert" bullshit. Am I really spoiling anything? You're gonna watch it or not regardless. Bah, anyway). I dutifully watched on, and I have to say that if their tale ends where it started -- as two lonely deadbeat shepherds, tending their flock in the New Zealand countryside with nothing but the music inside to guide them -- then godspeed, Conchords. I will miss them if they're gone, but I consider my life enriched for having joined them for their short time on my HBO.
The (potential) ending of Flight of the Conchords... forever (reviewed here). <---That would be the previously alerted spoiler. I claimed lack of funds when tickets for their Radio City shows went on sale, and now that we may have said our final goodbye to HBO Conchords, I'm kind of wishing I were going to see Live Conchords in April. I haven't received an email from Bonnaroo in about a week, and they still haven't announced any comedy acts, so this will be my Bonnaroo mention for the day (no artist countdown today. Schiff Happens may have been a musical collection back in the day, but I don't want anyone to feel like they can't come here and read something without me telling them what music to listen to). It's something I've said before, but since this could be the last time I see New Zealand's fourth most popular folk comedy duo, I must say it again. Bonnaroo, do the right thing and get Brett and Jemaine on the comedy stage. The fanbase will definitely show up.
If Flight of the Conchords is indeed over, then I hope that its end means the beginning of what I want to believe will be a great comedy series, Eastbound and Down. After spending this entire first season trying to get behind the notion that the down on his luck, sack of shit, John Rocker-inspired Kenny Powers could actually redeem himself, we find out that the lowest depths of his loserdom are yet to come. I can't wait to see what kind of hell he's capable of raising when he's truly down. Plus, I gotsta see me some more of April Bigcannons (who by the way lost a bunch of weight by the end of the season. Way to go, Katy Mixon, you are indeed a babe--6:10 is the magic mark in the link, best YouTube has to offer). I'll be tuned in the next time that mullet rolls back into town.
Kenny Powers is a winner. He's a fucking bulletproof tiger. And that's why he'll be back on top, soon enough.
The best part of HBO, of course, is that there are no commercials. However, there are 2 commercials out right now that I will watch any day:
The McDonald's filet-o-fish commercial might have almost worn out its welcome during the first 2 rounds of the NCAA tournament, when it was on incessantly, but when great intellects from Wale to The Chad tell me they can't get enough of this, I'm forced to pay attention.
Tell me you haven't found yourself alone in your home, doing some mundane task, and without warning letting out a rendition of that time-honored hook. "Give me that fiiiish!"
Next, my childhood hero has been reduced to a chocolate-shilling, slightly doughier version of his former self, but Patrick acts the same way he played -- with the heart of a warrior. "What's up, Ryan?" That's how you dominate.
How can you not love the center, at seven feet from Georgetown, throwing it down in full knee pads?
Even as I watched last night, I knew that Flight of the Conchords might be coming to an end (SPOILER ALERT...damn I hate that "spoiler alert" bullshit. Am I really spoiling anything? You're gonna watch it or not regardless. Bah, anyway). I dutifully watched on, and I have to say that if their tale ends where it started -- as two lonely deadbeat shepherds, tending their flock in the New Zealand countryside with nothing but the music inside to guide them -- then godspeed, Conchords. I will miss them if they're gone, but I consider my life enriched for having joined them for their short time on my HBO.