Thursday, July 29, 2010

Our Long National Nightmare is Over, Jersey Shore is Back

Tonight, that empty space you've felt in your heart since January will once again be filled with creepin, gorillas, grenades, and of course, the business. Tonight, we beat up the beat. Tonight, tits are comin' out. Tonight - God bless me, it's fuckin summah - Jersey Shore returns for Season Two!

My fellow GTL-iens... REJOICE!

In case you forgot (although how could you have?), I've pasted your Official Jersey Shore Drinking Game rules below. I can only assume that we'll have to make some updates to the rules once we have a better sense of the Season 2 dynamic. As always, suggestions welcome. Blend up some RonRon juice and enjoy.

I'm so glad it's back.

The Jersey Shore Drinking Game, Official Rules:

1. The names of all the housemates are put into a hat and each person draws one. If you're drinking with more than 6 people, just put the names back and draw again until everyone has their housemate. When your guido talks to the camera, take a drink.

2. If anyone actually calls Snooki "Snooki," finish your drink.

3. If they call her anything else - Snook, Shnooks, Snickers, Shnicks, Snicky-Snicky-Shnoiks, Shnookumspookums - it's a social.

4. If the housemates all sit down for family dinner, everybody does a toast and takes a healthy chug. Except for whoever has Sammi Sweetheart - she's excluded from chicken cutlet night. She also has to refill the cup of whoever has The Situation... that ungrateful Flintstone big toe havin' bitch.

5. When they fist pump, we fist pump. Any fist pumping battle scene starts a waterfall. Everyone drinks while fist pumping and doesn't stop doing either until there's no more fist pumping happening on screen.

6. And of course, no Jersey Shore drinking game would be complete without this BASEketball-inspired rule: Do a shot every time a fight breaks out!

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