Thursday, January 15, 2009

Saving Adolf

Missed this yesterday, but props to Karen for the tip.

You may remember my Hanukkah wish last month for an adorable but extremely unfortunately named little tyke from New Jersey to get a birthday cake with his name on it like every three year old should. Problem was, the local ShopRite felt just a tad comfortable with the cake inscription "Happy Birthday Adolf!" At the time we generally agreed that the stores were doing the right thing, and that some switch or another was obviously not flicked on in the brains of Adolf's parents, the generically named but mentally unhinged Heath and Deborah Campbell. Well, it seems that someone out in Jersey finally got the memo on these human paraquats, because Adolf Hitler Campbell and his two younger sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, 1, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, 8 months, have been taken into protective custody by the New Jersey Division of Youth and Family Services. DYFS probably won't release too much information, and the indication is that this has nothing to do with their names, but in a way it does, because anyone who is mental enough to name their children Adolf Hitler and Aryan Nation is basically saying that they don't really mind if their kids are fucked for life. That's enough to be considered abuse in my opinion.
The report from FOX News, which cites a thankfully much funnier precedent for this kind of thing.
My only question: Should this case change my plans to name my first two children (regardless of sex) 'Mystique' and 'Aura' after the old Yankee Stadium?

No comments: