Thursday, February 26, 2009

Magic defeat Knicks, Anthony Mason expands sideways

Stone scored free tickets to the Knicks game last night. Kryptonate vs. Superman - this time IT COUNTS! I'm all in.

On my ride from work to The Garden, the entire subway car was plastered with these Al Harrington K Mart posters for his "Protoge" shoes. ::Peterman Voice:: Men's sizes 6-14, price: thir-ty four nine-ty nine.

I've enjoyed having Al as a Knick this year, but I was caught by surprise on Day 1 of the Post-Marbury Era in New York. I just kind of went, "Woah, that was fast." So long Starbury, hello Protoge. New York has a new bargain brand hoop sneaker pitchman, and his name is Al Harrington! Just when Steph was returning to fun/batshit crazy form, too. I didn't want to be that dick (no, not "that dick") snapping tons of pics on the train, and I was a little doubtful that I got a decent shot. Then I walked up from the train and hit the street.

Well then, I guess that's settled.

Inside, The Garden was actually crowded. Obviously Dwight Howard and the Magic are a top draw, but it has been fun to watch the MSG crowd begin to reassert itself on TV this year, and that feeling was buoyed when I sat down amongst the faithful. With deep fried stadium concessions and cool, refreshing American light beer in hand, we found our seats and things got underway.

Not bad from Section 310, no?

Speaking of our section, a few minutes into the second quarter, as Stone's friend was telling us a story of the time he did a Knicks "Memory" Contest on the court at a game years ago, we saw some MSG reps and a cameraman setting up shop with a "Lucky Fan" sign. Moments later, I watched from Section 310, Row D, Seat 9 as the Knicks upgraded the lucky fan in Section 310, Row J, Seat 3. This is the closest I will ever come to a lucky seat upgrade.

Just before coming out of that same time-out, the Knicks presented of several scoreboard shout-outs. I didn't get my camera out in time when they welcomed in the greatest man, Mr. Osi Umenyiora, which is too bad, because he announced that he would be back with a vengeance next season and guaranteed a Super Bowl championship for the Mighty Mighty GMen. Then he leaped over Dwight Howard and dunked Nate Robinson. I did, however, have the camera out when they welcomed back to Madison Square Garden, current Magic Assistant, tri-captain Patrick Ewing!

At halftime, the Knicks released a bunch of little Kryptonate clones out onto the floor and they ran a game of 5-on-5. That doing anything for ya? Ehh? If not, it was Stone's joke. Much to my amazement, nobody booed the tiny schoolchildren attempting to play basketball. Not even when Lawrence from School of Rock bricked this high arching jumper. Look at his coach's face. That's not the guy you want taking that shot, is it coach?

The second time we heard, "Once a Knick, always a Knick" over the PA system, the sculpted figure of Anthony Mason graced the scoreboard screens. Then they flashed to a live feed of a manatee who was somehow seated courtside, having clearly wandered miles from its natural habitat.

Jesus Christ Malomars! Anthony Mason is effing huge! This was shocking to me for some reason, like if I were a millionaire ex-pro athlete I wouldn't get fat and go hang out at sporting events. Still, dude is a trailer.

As you can see from the scoreboard shots, the Knicks were down big this entire game, until a frantic run in the 4th quarter where they were able to pull within 2 at one point with about a minute remaining. Tough to play catch-up when you're not playing any defense and allowing the opposition to shoot 51% as a team, with 33 points from Hedo Turkoglu and business as usual 24-and-21 domination from Dwight Howard, who simply had his way with a slew of would-be Knicks defenders (Not that Superman isn't exciting, but you just expect Dwight to dominate so hard that when he does, it seems like par for the course. Also, "defense" is a very relative term when you're talking about the Knicks). Still, a very fun night at MSG. My first Knicks game in two years was definitely the most enjoyable in much longer - since Ewing and Mase roamed that floor, really. As we made our way to the exits, we watched as fans gathered round the massive Mason to pose for pictures and ask for autographs. I left hopeful that the Knicks would at least keep themselves in the playoffs conversation, and utterly awestruck by Anthony Mason's dinner table ass.

Do you, Mase. Do you.

Oh, also, Nate got fouled, Knicks was robbed.

More on last night:

Spike Lee Plays D [Fack Youk]

Magic 114, Knicks 109 [Posting and Toasting]

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