Monday, December 22, 2008

Sometimes you just want it to snow

From the "Soon-to-be-remixed ad nauseum" department comes this gem of a poor Oklahoma University coed who just wanted to make it snow. Look, she's super sorry, okay? She'll even sweep the floor, just stop hating her! Come on, her dad did it, she just wanted to do it too!!

From the tiny bit of investigation I've done on this (aka reading the always-insightful comments) I'm pretty sure that this girl shot off a fire extinguisher in a library or dorm building in an attempt to create a finals winter wonderland. This naturally set off the fire alarm which, if you have gone to college you will know, requires immediate evacuation and lots of standing around outside freezing your face off while you wait for the fire department to (slowly) show up, (slowly) investigate and (very quickly) leave. You are then allowed to reenter the building and hold a grudge against the freshman dipshit (or in this case insane Alpha Chi) who committed the offense.

I actually have a bit of personal experience with this, having set off my dorm fire alarm my first year at UVA by burning a bag of microwave popcorn. It happened late on the Sunday night back from Thanksgiving break, so everyone was just settling in and getting ready for the return to classes when they were forced to stand outside in their pajamas for 45 minutes. Plus, the popcorn was being prepared for the now-retired ::sheds tear:: Talk Sex With Sue Johannsen (this was a weekly ritual with friends, I swear), which makes the offense that much more ignoble. But did I cry about it? Hell no! Grow a spine, Oklahoma girl. Stand up and take your fire alarm offense like I did - tell one trusted friend, slink to the back of the crowd while the fire department does their thing, then deny, deny, deny until people stop talking about it a week later. Then you can go on winter break and by spring semester you're barely an afterthought. OR you can become a lip-quivering YouTube sensation, totally up to you. I'm sorry, that was mean. You just wanted to make it snow.

No comments: