Showing posts with label birthday cake. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birthday cake. Show all posts
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Saving Adolf
Missed this yesterday, but props to Karen for the tip.
You may remember my Hanukkah wish last month for an adorable but extremely unfortunately named little tyke from New Jersey to get a birthday cake with his name on it like every three year old should. Problem was, the local ShopRite felt just a tad comfortable with the cake inscription "Happy Birthday Adolf!" At the time we generally agreed that the stores were doing the right thing, and that some switch or another was obviously not flicked on in the brains of Adolf's parents, the generically named but mentally unhinged Heath and Deborah Campbell. Well, it seems that someone out in Jersey finally got the memo on these human paraquats, because Adolf Hitler Campbell and his two younger sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, 1, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, 8 months, have been taken into protective custody by the New Jersey Division of Youth and Family Services. DYFS probably won't release too much information, and the indication is that this has nothing to do with their names, but in a way it does, because anyone who is mental enough to name their children Adolf Hitler and Aryan Nation is basically saying that they don't really mind if their kids are fucked for life. That's enough to be considered abuse in my opinion.
The report from FOX News, which cites a thankfully much funnier precedent for this kind of thing.
My only question: Should this case change my plans to name my first two children (regardless of sex) 'Mystique' and 'Aura' after the old Yankee Stadium?
You may remember my Hanukkah wish last month for an adorable but extremely unfortunately named little tyke from New Jersey to get a birthday cake with his name on it like every three year old should. Problem was, the local ShopRite felt just a tad comfortable with the cake inscription "Happy Birthday Adolf!" At the time we generally agreed that the stores were doing the right thing, and that some switch or another was obviously not flicked on in the brains of Adolf's parents, the generically named but mentally unhinged Heath and Deborah Campbell. Well, it seems that someone out in Jersey finally got the memo on these human paraquats, because Adolf Hitler Campbell and his two younger sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, 1, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, 8 months, have been taken into protective custody by the New Jersey Division of Youth and Family Services. DYFS probably won't release too much information, and the indication is that this has nothing to do with their names, but in a way it does, because anyone who is mental enough to name their children Adolf Hitler and Aryan Nation is basically saying that they don't really mind if their kids are fucked for life. That's enough to be considered abuse in my opinion.
The report from FOX News, which cites a thankfully much funnier precedent for this kind of thing.
My only question: Should this case change my plans to name my first two children (regardless of sex) 'Mystique' and 'Aura' after the old Yankee Stadium?
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
The NBA: Where Hanukkah Happens
Recently I echoed the sentiment of so many small children when I said that all I want for Hanukkah this year is one head-nodding religious artifact, which I then amended to state that all I want for Hanukkah this year is one head-nodding religious artifact and a piece of special birthday cake made just for a three-year-old named for one of history's most ruthless dictators. And this, my friends, is why they gave us eight crazy nights. Because tonight, on the third night of Hanukkah (and still the one and only night of Festivus) I hope my Jew love gives to me: one Rally Rabbi bobblehead, one Adolf cake... and a shout out from Ko-be.
I was introduced to The Embedded NBA Reporter, Elie Seckbach, through an intriguing couple of recent posts on freedarko. He came to America from Israel in 1996 to play college basketball and has been covering the NBA since 1997, although his popularity has received a major boost recently thanks in large part to Internet video. Andy Gray of CNNSI called Seckbach "the most entertaining NBA reporter out there" because of his quirky, candid interview style and zany questions beyond the realm of basketball, which often result in classic sound bites from NBA stars. To ring in the third night of Hanukkah, we've got Elie's Hanukkah videos from the last three years, with this year's at the bottom. And yes, that includes shout-outs from Kobe, The Diesel, and The King.
Upon hearing that Hanukkah commemorates a war victory and involves 8 nights of presents: "I need to celebrate Hanukkah more" - Ron Artest
"Happy Hanukkah. You guys have fun and blow out all the candles." - Ricky Davis
"Happy Hanukkah and, uh, I hope everything, you know, goes the way they planned." - Trevor Ariza
For more Seckbachery, check out Elie on Fanhouse.
I was introduced to The Embedded NBA Reporter, Elie Seckbach, through an intriguing couple of recent posts on freedarko. He came to America from Israel in 1996 to play college basketball and has been covering the NBA since 1997, although his popularity has received a major boost recently thanks in large part to Internet video. Andy Gray of CNNSI called Seckbach "the most entertaining NBA reporter out there" because of his quirky, candid interview style and zany questions beyond the realm of basketball, which often result in classic sound bites from NBA stars. To ring in the third night of Hanukkah, we've got Elie's Hanukkah videos from the last three years, with this year's at the bottom. And yes, that includes shout-outs from Kobe, The Diesel, and The King.
Upon hearing that Hanukkah commemorates a war victory and involves 8 nights of presents: "I need to celebrate Hanukkah more" - Ron Artest
"Happy Hanukkah. You guys have fun and blow out all the candles." - Ricky Davis
"Happy Hanukkah and, uh, I hope everything, you know, goes the way they planned." - Trevor Ariza
For more Seckbachery, check out Elie on Fanhouse.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
"We believe the request ... to inscribe a birthday wish to Adolf Hitler is inappropriate"
I know I said last night that I only wanted one tchotchkke for Hanukkah this year, but f it, that's why we get 8 crazy nights, right?
That's why this year I am also wishing for a slice of Adolf Hitler's birthday cake.
Courtesy of Lindsay Robertson, here's the sad story of poor little Adolf Hitler Campbell, who is being denied every child's dream of seeing his name written in frosting.
Young Adolf Hitler Campbell will be getting a cake from Wal-Mart this year.
Come on, people! It's Hanukkah for crying out loud! I really do feel for these kids, because it's not their fault that their parents are such epic douchenozzles. At least he'll have his campaign commercial all set if he ever decides to run for office.
Oy.
That's why this year I am also wishing for a slice of Adolf Hitler's birthday cake.
Courtesy of Lindsay Robertson, here's the sad story of poor little Adolf Hitler Campbell, who is being denied every child's dream of seeing his name written in frosting.
Young Adolf Hitler Campbell will be getting a cake from Wal-Mart this year.
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