Saving Adolf

Missed this yesterday, but props to Karen for the tip.

You may remember my Hanukkah wish last month for an adorable but extremely unfortunately named little tyke from New Jersey to get a birthday cake with his name on it like every three year old should. Problem was, the local ShopRite felt just a tad comfortable with the cake inscription "Happy Birthday Adolf!" At the time we generally agreed that the stores were doing the right thing, and that some switch or another was obviously not flicked on in the brains of Adolf's parents, the generically named but mentally unhinged Heath and Deborah Campbell. Well, it seems that someone out in Jersey finally got the memo on these human paraquats, because Adolf Hitler Campbell and his two younger sisters, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, 1, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, 8 months, have been taken into protective custody by the New Jersey Division of Youth and Family Services. DYFS probably won't release too much information, and the indication is that this has nothing to do with their names, but in a way it does, because anyone who is mental enough to name their children Adolf Hitler and Aryan Nation is basically saying that they don't really mind if their kids are fucked for life. That's enough to be considered abuse in my opinion.
The report from FOX News, which cites a thankfully much funnier precedent for this kind of thing.
My only question: Should this case change my plans to name my first two children (regardless of sex) 'Mystique' and 'Aura' after the old Yankee Stadium?

"We believe the request ... to inscribe a birthday wish to Adolf Hitler is inappropriate"

I know I said last night that I only wanted one tchotchkke for Hanukkah this year, but f it, that's why we get 8 crazy nights, right?
That's why this year I am also wishing for a slice of Adolf Hitler's birthday cake.
Courtesy of Lindsay Robertson, here's the sad story of poor little Adolf Hitler Campbell, who is being denied every child's dream of seeing his name written in frosting.

Express-Times Photo | BRUCE WINTER
Young Adolf Hitler Campbell will be getting a cake from Wal-Mart this year.

Come on, people! It's Hanukkah for crying out loud! I really do feel for these kids, because it's not their fault that their parents are such epic douchenozzles. At least he'll have his campaign commercial all set if he ever decides to run for office.

Oy.