Worlds Are Colliding! [Needs More Bruce]

Just saw this headline on NJ.com that nearly blew my mind:

Did Bruce Springsteen stay at the MTV 'Jersey Shore' house?

New cast-mates enjoying the infamous hot tub?

Could it really be? Did these two great New Jersey institutions and Schiff Happens favorites come together at some point this winter? The video in the article gives us only a thinly veiled, winking acknowledgment from the Seaside Police Chief that The Boss may have visited the house, so I'm gonna bet that it didn't happen on account of the world didn't explode. However, if these allegations are true, does this make the Jersey Shore house Springsteen's most famous residence since 7 1/2 West End Court? Did he get any classic songwriting done like he did back in that little Long Branch house?

"Well, Paulie D and The Situation well you know they're gonna be there.
Sloppy Snooks, RonRon, and Vinny they'll be comin' up for air..."

One thing we do know for certain: The Guidos got hoagies. Also, is there a more Situation sandwich than baloney, cheese, and mayo? I'm so glad this show is almost back.

I’m Gonna Call It Good

Much goodness abounds around the interwebz these days, so here is some of it for you now.

I have been watching HBO’s newest David Simon creation, Treme, and like many have been wondering exactly where it’s going and debating with myself internally over whether I actually like it. One thing that I and everyone seem to agree on, though, is that some positively fan-freakin-tastic music has been the star of the show so far. To wit, the Internet has given birth to Songs From Treme. The creator of this most awesome Tumblr openly admits that he is “not at all qualified to run a blog about New Orleans music” (Although he links us to several people who are). Dude doesn’t even have HBO! He’s just a guy who digs the incredible music of Treme – hey, that’s just like us! How very accessible! *(For more Treme music, check out the show's official site, which offers full music playlists for each episode with links to buy every song on iTunes)

While we’re on the subject of New Orleans and music, we have to talk a little bit about Jazz Fest. The two-week long party wraps up this weekend, and since neither Smellson, nor the Rossman, nor several of my coworkers that will be there made any offer or attempt to stow me away as they head out to NoLa – friends like these, I know – that means another weekend of vicarious living. And just like with Coachella, that means we’ll be bumping webcasts and mixtapes (full listings below) while another incredible music weekend goes down somewhere other than where we are. Don’t know about you out there, but Schiff Happens is going to have to do something about this festival drought really soon. Bonnaroo gets more enticing every time you look at that lineup, and it’s not entirely out of the question… yet. One major question mark remains, thought: Who’s coming with me?

Finally, B.o.B's debut album, The Adventures of Bobby Ray, is finally out as of yesterday. You already know how good the live show is, so you're gonna want to go and get that.

-----

Tipitina’s Jazz Fest Webcast Schedule:

Wednesday 4.28.2010
10 PM CT: Railroad Earth

Thursday 4.29.2010
9 PM: North Mississippi Allstars plus City Champs
2 AM CT: Karl Denson's Tiny Universe

Friday 4.30.2010
9 PM CT: The Radiators
2 AM CT: The Greyboy Allstars

Saturday 5.1.2010
9 PM CT: Ani DiFranco
2 AM CT: Trombone Shorty & Orleans Ave. CD Release Party with Special Guests TBA

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New Orleans Jazz Fest Mix (via Coventry Music):

Disc 1:

01. Big Chief - Professor Longhair
02. Cabbage Alley - The Meters
03. Junco Partner - James Booker
04. Iko Iko - The Dixie Cups
05. Yes We Can Can - Lee Dorsey
06. Hey Pocky A-Way - The Meters
07. Handa Wanda - Big Chief Bo Dollis & The Wild Magnolia Mardi Gras Indians
08. Carnival Time - Al Johnson
09. Mardi Gras Jig - The Bluerunners
10. Tipitina - Professor Longhair
11. Blues for Ben - Stanton Moore
12. Huey Smith Medley - Dr. John
13. Mardi Gras Mambo - The Meters
14. Sew, Sew, Sew - The Wild Magnolias
15. Mardi Gras Day - Dr. John
16. Bosco Stomp - The Red Stick Ramblers
17. Cissy Strut - The Meters
18. Look-Ka Py Py - The Meters
19. Zydeco Gris-Gris - Pine Leaf Boys
20. Mardi Gras In New Orleans - Professor Longhair

Disc 2:

01. Walking To New Orleans - Fats Domino
02. The Second Line - Stop, Inc.
03. Funky Miracle - The Meters
04. Bon Ton Roulet - Clarence "Bon Ton" Garlow
05. Brother John/Iko Iko - The Neville Brothers
06. Talkin' 'Bout New Orleans - The Meters
07. Let The Good Times Roll - Shirley & Lee
08. Ya Ya - Lee Dorsey
09. Don't You Just Know It - Huey "Piano" Smith & The Clowns
10. I Like It Like That - Chris Kenner
11. Ooh Poo Pah Doo - Jessie Hill
12. Night People - Lee Dorsey
13. Down South In New Orleans - The Band (w/ Bobby Charles)
14. Here Come the Girls - Ernie K-Doe
15. Made In The Shade - The Red Stick Ramblers
16. Soul Second Line - Papa Grows Funk
17. Ain't Nothin' But A Party - Dirty Dozen Brass Band
18. They All Ask'd For You - The Meters
19. Zydeco Mardi Gras - Pine Leaf Boys
20. Do Whatcha Wanna - Rebirth Brass Band
21. When The Saints Go Marching In - Preservation Hall Jazz Band with Walter "Wolfman" Washington and Theresa Andersson

The Kickdrums | COACHELLA | The Indio Sessions: Day 3

One more day of Coachella - don't you totally feel like you were there?



Yeah, me neither. But hey, our boy B.o.B closes out the mixtape series and hits the stage tonight (webcast at 7pm!), so you'll at least have one up on your festival-going friends when they come back all "We went to Coachella and ZOMG we saw the next big thing!" and you tell them you already knew.

The Kickdrums | COACHELLA | The Indio Sessions: Day 2

Here's Day 2 of The Kickdrums' Indio Sessions Coachella mixtapes for the rest of us who still, try as we might, can't wish our way to Indio.

I will say that, although I was skeptical, the webcast is more than a little bit of awesome. If you have no plans for tonight, or if you want to change up that tired old pregame mix you've been using, I'd recommend you call up a couple of your fellow Coachella-less friends, tell them to bring over their laptops, and set up three "stages" around your place for a simulated Coachella Saturday. Call it No-chella. You still won't be there, but you'll be able to watch all of the hottest acts unfettered by masses of gyrating hippies and/or hipsters. At this point, I'm not sure which of these two groups dominates the festival scene more, but I know that it's always a good thing to avoid either.

The Kickdrums | Coachella | The Indio Sessions: Day 1

Just 10 miles to Indio. Too bad you ain't going!

Hey, internet! Are you like me? Still in denial that you won't be at the Empire Polo Grounds when Coachella 2010 kicks off in just a few hours? Well, The Kickdrums got your back with The Indio Sessions, a mixtape series featuring highlights from a slew of Coachella's finest - just like being there!

/facepalm

Alright, so it can't possibly compare, but these mixtapes and a webcast series being promoted by 5 Gum (facebook here, myspace here) are all we have. I'll be sure to post the Day 2 and Day 3 Indio Sessions tapes tomorrow and Sunday to help move you from denial through the various stages of Coachella-less grief. Of course, if you're a regular here, you've probably already found Day 1 and Day 2.

On to the weekend, people! Yankee games (no rain! no rain!), keggers, and a bunch of running. What's everyone getting into??

Lupe Fiasco and B.o.B Live at the Fillmore Irving Plaza, NYC, 4/10/2010

I wanted to get some thoughts down before this became untimely, and then I woke up and it was Wednesday. Well, screw it - here are some thoughts on Lupe Fiasco and B.o.B bringing the Steppin Lasers Tour to the Fillmore Irving Plaza last Saturday, April 10:

I don't want to say that I was more excited for the opener than the headliner (even though I sort of did), but having seen Lupe once before, I already knew the kind of high-energy, max-effort performance he was going to bring to the stage. On the flip side, I have had my eye on the Atlanta-based rapper once known as Bobby Ray since the very early days of Schiff Happens, and now that my attention has finally been rewarded recently with the massive success of the single "Nothin' On You," I was pretty damn hyped to see what kind of performance we were going to get out of him, especially considering that he's on the bill for all those awesome summer festivals I wish I were attending. Actually, let's keep things positive and not get started down that bitter, festival-less road.

I was a bit nervous when he opened the set with just a mic and a d.j., especially knowing that he's all about playing the guitar and playing with the typical rap style, but after two or three songs his full band was out there rocking behind him. Soon enough after that, B.o.B pulled out the guitar and let us know that he likes to name all his axes -- a feather-adorned acoustic, we learned, was known as "War Hawk" -- urging the crowd to offer suggestions for guitar names on his twitter page. Although there was a glimpse of it during an a capella run-through of "Generation Lost," Bob's true passion emerged when he was armed with the six-string. He's a talented rapper and lyricist, but his talent goes well beyond that. He has a wide range of abilities that could allow him to reach a much broader audience, which he displayed during an passionately-delivered acoustic number called "Letters From Vietnam."


Even though I went in hyping the emcee to my concert crew, I was surprised to see as many fans as I did who were not only eager to pour out their b.O.b love, but displayed a high degree of familiarity with the music. This was definitely not lost on Bobby Ray, either, appearing flat-out giddy at times as he chuckled his way through the set and definitely had a few "Wow, really? Okay!" moments when the crowd sang along or responded to certain things. He displayed his incredible talent and had a great time while doing it, and as a lover of live music, that's all I ever ask of the performers I go to see. B.o.B made a lot of believers at the Fillmore on Saturday night, and I suspect many more will join them after his debut album, The Adventures of Bobby Ray, comes out on April 27.



As for the headliner, the room was packed to the brim and teeming with excitement for Lupe's set, and he delivered in the usual body-heaving, shadow-boxing, sweat-flying fashion that his fans (and critics) have come to expect. Personally, I'll never understand the backhanded comments sometimes directed Lupe's way that he goes "too hard" on stage, like it's an act that somehow detracts from the musical performance. To me, all of that stuff is the heart of live music. You're not just up there to play your music for me, you're there to create a body and soul experience. Happily for me and the screaming, unwashed masses jamming the Fillmore, Lupe set out to do just that as he ran through a mix of fan favorites and new joints from his upcoming album Lasers.

Classic favorites like "Go Go Gadget Flow" and "Superstar" notwithstanding, there were two highlights for me. Alright, three if you include Lupe introducing Diggy Simmons (yeah, that Diggy Simmons) as his newest label- and supergroup project-mate (I know, I know). However, from our angle, we couldn't see young Digs, and we were always Russy fans anyway, so we're going with two main highlights. First, Lupe's performance of the new song "Beautiful Lasers," which he prefaced by telling the emotional tale of how he the song was born during a dark period in his life as he "put down the gun and picked the pen up" to write it. If that is to be taken literally, it gives whole new meaning to "Hip Hop Saved My Life." But even if it didn't happen exactly like that, it's some heavy imagery and a profound reminder that life is a gift, and there's always more to gain by giving a piece of yourself to the world than selfishly taking yourself out of it.



The other standout moment from the night was the final number - a freestyle that lasted nearly 10 minutes. This wasn't your typical freestyle, which is generally speaking less a freestyle and more pre-written rhymes rapped as though they're being improvised. This was very clearly Lupe Fiasco weaving spoken-word poetry all alone on stage. I was impressed, if not pumping my fist and yelling "OOOOHHH!" after every verse (although, as you'll hear if you watch the video below, some idiots can't be helped, regardless of the setting...."Shots fired!!").



A lot of people like to hate on hip-hop as a washed out, auto-tuned landscape overrun with fake gangsters and bereft of creativity, but B.o.B and Lupe Fiasco put on a show in NYC over the weekend that displayed the best of the artistic expression, creativity and range of talent that the genre has to offer.


P.S. Yes, I took those (better than average considering I was in a packed crowd fairly far away) photos.

And because live music is awesome, click here for a few B.o.B tracks from Sunday night's show. [All The Way Live]

WTF It's April? [Schiff Happens Quarterly Review]

College basketball is over,* baseball has (finally!) begun - it's April. In what feels like a flash, we're already a quarter of the way into 2010. It's time for a look back - and a look ahead. In the spirit of my recent return to the workforce (more on that momentarily), it's time for an official Schiff Happens First Quarter Review.

Entering Q1, Schiff Happens was at a crossroads, still reeling from the epic suckfest of a year so brutal it can't even be spoken of by name. Yet out of the shitheap came a glimmer of hope, dreams of promise for a great year in 2010. There were big challenges and high expectations ahead.**

We started off Q1 by bidding a bittersweet farewell to the Greatest Reality TV Show in the History of Ever. I was high from all the hairspray fumes I inhaled getting ready for the finale party, so it took me a few extra days to let it go. Not to worry, though, fist-pumpers. Looking ahead, we should be lucky enough to have Sitch, Snooks, Pauly D and the whole gang back in our lives - hopefully late Q2, almost certainly early Q3. As if it were possible, the show will become even less Jersey, as season 2 will take place in Miami.

Another Q1 highlight: The Schiff Happens name made the jump across the pond. I was interviewed by a BBC documentary crew and poised to appear alongside such Internet royalty as Al Gore, Tim Berners-Lee and Bill Gates. However, the BBC web player only allowed you to access the show from inside the UK. Oh, sweet irony! I wondered, "If you get interviewed by a prestigious international television network for being the guy who defriended his facebook friends for a free Whopper, and nobody in America can watch it, did it really happen?" It's the age-old philosophical conundrum. However, I am delighted to report that as we enter Q2, the show has at least made its way to YouTube. Enjoy the video below and have at it in the comments.



My primary Q1 objective was always to get a job, but due to financial constraints, that missive quickly morphed into "Generate income by any means necessary." I found myself taking a part-time gig shilling sneakers in one of New York's oldest sporting goods stores, which, as part-time gigs go, really wasn't bad. Frankly, it forced me to drag my ass out of bed in the morning, shed the Snuggie of unemployment, and begin to rejoin the rest of society. In the end, I'm grateful that the opportunity came along. As always seems to be the case, my job search was a case of feast or famine, and after months of turning up nothing, contacts were being established and networks were expanding almost immediately upon starting my new role. Within a few weeks I was interviewing and, I am excited to say, accepted a brand new full-time job. I try not to to mix business with the proceedings around here, but I will say that I am working at one of the top young internet companies around right now, I'm surrounded by bright, focused people in a laid back atmosphere that encourages creativity, and am extremely well-nourished thanks to the greatest office kitchen I have ever been around.

In addition to getting me re-focused and refreshed, working in the sporting goods store also led to something of a running renaissance for me. Spending so much time around running shoes, runners and the sport of running in general inspired me to sign up for a half marathon and train seriously for the first time since my high school glory days. All of a sudden, I'm on a team for charity and committed to run the ING New York City Marathon in November. More on all this to follow in the weeks and months ahead (and trust me, there will much more because you're all going to be donating), but for now I hope you'll direct your attention to Schiff Happens' most recent side venture: Run, Schiff, Run! Follow my awesome Tumblr for every mile - if you ever run with me or come watch me cross a finish line, I'll be sure you get a cameo. Running: an unexpected Q1 development that created new goals to carry us through Q2, 3, and 4. Who knew?

In the final post of Q1, I promised a future post on Festival Season, but looking ahead to Q2 and beyond, it's simply an impossibility that Schiff Happens will be able to attend one of the most perfectly constructed festivals in recent memory (of this generation?) or make a repeat appearance at the big 'Roo, which gets ever-more enticing each time you put it away and come back to it. So what does that leave us, musically, going forward? For starters, a lot of vicarious living. I've been loving The Kickdrums' Indio Sessions mixtapes for the last couple of weeks (Day 1, Day 2) and am excited for the release of Day 3 to complete the set. We're also left with prayers for miracles. There's a less than minuscule, impossible chance that I may be in New Orleans with the new job for the last 3 days of April, positioning me perfectly for Weekend 2 of Jazz Fest. Send the good vibes my way, people!

Mostly, though, we're now charged with creating an old-fashioned summer tour out of the local shows at our disposal, unaided by a huge festival to help catch all the big names of the now. That means Lupe Fiasco (with opening act b.O.b., which, truth be told, I may be more excited for) this Saturday night at Irving Plaza. That means I'm still intrigued by the possibility of checking out newly reformed Sublime With Rome at Roseland Ballroom in May. I know it's not the same without Brad, but Sublime remains one of my favorite bands of all time and I'm willing to see what Eric and Bud have to offer with a new frontman. That means the big musical story of the summer will be Phish. Again. A year after I said 5 shows in one summer was too many, I'll be heading out to 4 in 3 cities from late-Q2 to mid-Q3 Amazing how the more things change, the more they stay the same.

The end of Q1 has brought back the gorgeous weather and Sundays in Central Park that we longed for throughout the snowy, frigid winter. We've got more than a few excellent positives to build on as we forge deeper into 2010, a year that began with such high hopes.*** The seeds have been planted and we're on the verge of greatness, now we just have to see it through. Of course, we can still improve - not a single Springsteen mention in an entire quarterly report?! - but so far, 2010, you're so money and you don't even know it.****


*Sitting down to author this post as the starting lineups are being introduced. I don't see it shaking out this way, but I really hope Butler takes down the Dookies. Wouldn't be the first time Schiff Happens looked on and blogged in amazement while an unlikely upstart took down Coach K's cake eaters.

**I'm still dreaming of a world where Butler beats Duke in the NCAA Championship. Still don't think it will happen, but the Bulldogs are putting up a fight (down 2 with the ball 8:21 to go in the 1st half)

***High hopes including watching Duke lose in the NCAA Tournament Championship Game... to Butler. Bulldogs have the ball with 13 seconds left, trailing by just 1. If this happens, anything truly is possible for us good guys in 2010. Could it be???

****Gordon Hayward just missed a potential game-winner for Butler that was nearly identical to Sean Singletary's game-winner vs. Duke in the game referenced above. Freakin' Duke. At least Singler got trucked on the final play. This game is over, and this post needs to be too. G'night, Canada!

Friday Jams are back on the eve of Worldwide Fame

Hey there, Schiff Heads! I know Ive been gone for a minute, but I told you things would be different in 2010 and that I'd never leave you hanging indefinitely like I did a few times back in The Year That Was Naught, and I'm sticking to my promise.

In the coming days we'll be breaking down the lineups for my three favorite festivals coming up this season and trying to decide which one you should be zeroing in on if you can only attend one, as all early signs indicate will be the case for Schiff Happens. However, the focus today is once again my ever-expanding global fame.

That's right, friends and fans of Schiff, the glorious moment is upon us! Tomorrow night on BBC Two, the final installment of The Virtual Revolution, starring the one and only Schiff Happens as "The Whopper Guy," airs for the whole world to see. Now, in this case, "The whole world" does not necessarily refer to the United States, or anywhere outside of the UK. However, the full episodes (at least the first 2) have been included in what the show's site is calling its 3D Documentary Explorer, a nifty little device that allows you to watch the shows in full, or explore individual elements in depth via a web of interconnected sites related to elements of each episode. Hopefully, Episode 4 will follow suit in due time. If not, we'll be here, waiting on pins and needles for The Virtual Revolution to finally land on BBC America.

So to celebrate this momentous achievement in Schiff Happens fame, we're bringing back a long-forgotten tradition that never should have been abandoned. Ladies and gentlemen, a warm welcome back to Friday Jams!

It's only appropriate that this week's Friday Jams feature a meeting of great minds from New York City and England, and with that in mind we give to you something we've been meaning to share for a minute now: Wu-Tang Vs. The Beatles: Enter The Magical Mystery Chambers.

I know you might be thinking, "Damn it, Schiff, another mash-up!?" or "Didn't Dangermouse already do this on The Grey Album?" but this isn't what you're used to, or what you're expecting. Turns out a 28-year-old music teacher from Brighton, England named Tom Caruana spent two months putting this together, going beyond the typical mash-up style of just slapping a vocal track over a different beat. Chambers mashes Wu-Tang a capellas with archival sound from interviews and newsreels, alternate instrumental samples and cover versions of Beatles classics, creating a new kind of mashup altogether. It had been downloaded over 27,000 times as of last month, and it's sort of amazing. Plus, the genius behind it is a freaking music teacher, an everyday bum like the rest of us, who says that if he ever met Paul or Ringo he'd say “'Cheers for putting in the great work over the years. You’re legends.' And then give them a high-five and run off quickly.” And if that doesn't get you, just look at him.



Ah-dorable.

Now go download it (It has been pulled from Caruana's site but that link will let you at least listen to it and points you to a direct download link. Sorry, best I could do), then keep an eye out over the weekend for your favorite international superstar. Like our friends across the pond might chant at their soccer matches, there's only one Schiff Happens.

Schiff Happens Has Officially Gone International [Fame]

Those of you who have stuck with me since the beginning might recall that around this time last year (almost to the day, wow), Schiff Happens rose to national prominence when I was featured in the New York Times as the world's foremost expert on defriending people on Facebook in exchange for a free Whopper sandwich from Burger King. Word of my fame eventually traveled across the pond to the UK, and towards the end of The Year That Was Naught, Schiff Happens took the next step toward world domination when I was interviewed about the same topic on camera by the BBC. You read that correctly - the freaking BBC! We international, baby!

Unfortunately, I managed to blog through the entire Rest Of '09 without mentioning this little nugget of awesomeness (Or, I should say, quarter-pounder of awesomeness. See what I did there?). It happened during the World Series, so I guess it got lost in the shuffle of me attending Game 2 for free and meeting Uncle Jesse. Makes sense, really. I mean...Stamos. Anyway, it turns out that throughout the last year, the BBC had been putting together a massive documentary project about the World Wide Web, looking back at 20 years of the Internet to try and express how it has dramatically changed our world and predict where it might be heading. Pretty intriguing stuff. The fourth episode of the series is all about how the Web has changed the nature of human interaction, and in their research the producers at the BBC had stumbled upon the Whopper Sacrifice and fallen in love with its subversive nature (as I had) as a case study in how we define friendship on the web. They contacted me via Facebook, naturally, and asked me if I would be willing to tell my Whopper story on camera, and ultimately be featured in the project. I can vividly recall Susanna Posnett, the Assistant Producer who first spoke to me about the show, telling me in her classic English accent, "My director told me to find a Whopper Guy and, well, you're my Whopper Guy." Now if that doesn't scream "You've made it," I don't know what does.

I was happy to oblige, and the rest, as we say around here, is history. About a week after that initial conversation, I was sitting in a midtown diner next to Dr. Aleks Krotoski, the host of the documentary, telling the tale that made Schiff Happens famous. A cameraman stood behind the diner counter and filmed us as we conversed, with matching plates of burgers and fries in front of us, about the utter hilarity inherent in deleting an online relationship with ten people you probably weren't even friends with in the first place for the equivalent of one-tenth of a fast food sandwich that you probably didn't even want to eat in the first place. It was an extremely fun and memorable experience, made even more rewarding by the high praise I received from Krotoski, Posnett, and director Molly Milton, who agreed that I was one of their favorite interviews of the entire series. To put that in perspective, these people traveled the globe interviewing all-time geniuses and Internet hall-of-famers including Bill Gates, Al Gore, Arianna Huffington, Stephen Fry, Mark Zuckerberg, and Tim Berners-Lee. Oh, you say you invented the World Wide Web? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening - I'm the Whopper Guy!

This is all to bring you up to speed and let you know that the series, titled "The Virtual Revolution," started last night with Episode 1: "The Great Leveling?" on BBC 2, and debuts at the end of February on BBC World. The series will be broadcast in the US, so all of you, my tens of adoring fans, will definitely be able to watch my leap from mere national fame to worldwide superstardom. Dates for American airings are still being sorted out, but I am in contact with the show's directors and will be sure to get that info to you as soon as it's available. They've also promised me DVD copies of the entire thing, so maybe we'll get a special Schiff Happens screening together. For now, check out the preview video below, follow the series on Twitter @BBCDigRev, and be sure to check out the program's official web site. It's chock full of interviews and source video and all kinds of great information on the series, and is in itself a must-see example of open source goodness for all you Internetty types. In fact, as incentive for you to see what it's all about, Schiff Happens will personally buy a free Whopper meal for the first person who can find me in the annals of the Virtual Revolution site. I promise, I'm there somewhere.

Until then, stay tuned right here. Schiff Happens, the global phenomenon coming soon to a burger joint near you.

Fist Pumping in the Old Country

(Thanks to the superb Tumblr "Black and WTF")

I believe that's DJ Pauly Polka in the center, rocking the first ever blowout. And there's Claus Von Situationsteinn right up in his grill - a truly epic moment in photography capturing the original Bavarian Beat Battle.

To be honest, with all the Jersey Shore parodies and spoofs we've seen, I'm actually shocked we haven't seen a Fist Pump Polka from the king of all parodies. I would gladly pay money to see this happen, especially since I haven't already paid to see Weird Al in concert twice in my life. Nope, definitely never did that....

/Finds worn-out "Alapalooza" CD. Polkas. Sobs.