Lupe Fiasco and B.o.B Live at the Fillmore Irving Plaza, NYC, 4/10/2010

I wanted to get some thoughts down before this became untimely, and then I woke up and it was Wednesday. Well, screw it - here are some thoughts on Lupe Fiasco and B.o.B bringing the Steppin Lasers Tour to the Fillmore Irving Plaza last Saturday, April 10:

I don't want to say that I was more excited for the opener than the headliner (even though I sort of did), but having seen Lupe once before, I already knew the kind of high-energy, max-effort performance he was going to bring to the stage. On the flip side, I have had my eye on the Atlanta-based rapper once known as Bobby Ray since the very early days of Schiff Happens, and now that my attention has finally been rewarded recently with the massive success of the single "Nothin' On You," I was pretty damn hyped to see what kind of performance we were going to get out of him, especially considering that he's on the bill for all those awesome summer festivals I wish I were attending. Actually, let's keep things positive and not get started down that bitter, festival-less road.

I was a bit nervous when he opened the set with just a mic and a d.j., especially knowing that he's all about playing the guitar and playing with the typical rap style, but after two or three songs his full band was out there rocking behind him. Soon enough after that, B.o.B pulled out the guitar and let us know that he likes to name all his axes -- a feather-adorned acoustic, we learned, was known as "War Hawk" -- urging the crowd to offer suggestions for guitar names on his twitter page. Although there was a glimpse of it during an a capella run-through of "Generation Lost," Bob's true passion emerged when he was armed with the six-string. He's a talented rapper and lyricist, but his talent goes well beyond that. He has a wide range of abilities that could allow him to reach a much broader audience, which he displayed during an passionately-delivered acoustic number called "Letters From Vietnam."


Even though I went in hyping the emcee to my concert crew, I was surprised to see as many fans as I did who were not only eager to pour out their b.O.b love, but displayed a high degree of familiarity with the music. This was definitely not lost on Bobby Ray, either, appearing flat-out giddy at times as he chuckled his way through the set and definitely had a few "Wow, really? Okay!" moments when the crowd sang along or responded to certain things. He displayed his incredible talent and had a great time while doing it, and as a lover of live music, that's all I ever ask of the performers I go to see. B.o.B made a lot of believers at the Fillmore on Saturday night, and I suspect many more will join them after his debut album, The Adventures of Bobby Ray, comes out on April 27.



As for the headliner, the room was packed to the brim and teeming with excitement for Lupe's set, and he delivered in the usual body-heaving, shadow-boxing, sweat-flying fashion that his fans (and critics) have come to expect. Personally, I'll never understand the backhanded comments sometimes directed Lupe's way that he goes "too hard" on stage, like it's an act that somehow detracts from the musical performance. To me, all of that stuff is the heart of live music. You're not just up there to play your music for me, you're there to create a body and soul experience. Happily for me and the screaming, unwashed masses jamming the Fillmore, Lupe set out to do just that as he ran through a mix of fan favorites and new joints from his upcoming album Lasers.

Classic favorites like "Go Go Gadget Flow" and "Superstar" notwithstanding, there were two highlights for me. Alright, three if you include Lupe introducing Diggy Simmons (yeah, that Diggy Simmons) as his newest label- and supergroup project-mate (I know, I know). However, from our angle, we couldn't see young Digs, and we were always Russy fans anyway, so we're going with two main highlights. First, Lupe's performance of the new song "Beautiful Lasers," which he prefaced by telling the emotional tale of how he the song was born during a dark period in his life as he "put down the gun and picked the pen up" to write it. If that is to be taken literally, it gives whole new meaning to "Hip Hop Saved My Life." But even if it didn't happen exactly like that, it's some heavy imagery and a profound reminder that life is a gift, and there's always more to gain by giving a piece of yourself to the world than selfishly taking yourself out of it.



The other standout moment from the night was the final number - a freestyle that lasted nearly 10 minutes. This wasn't your typical freestyle, which is generally speaking less a freestyle and more pre-written rhymes rapped as though they're being improvised. This was very clearly Lupe Fiasco weaving spoken-word poetry all alone on stage. I was impressed, if not pumping my fist and yelling "OOOOHHH!" after every verse (although, as you'll hear if you watch the video below, some idiots can't be helped, regardless of the setting...."Shots fired!!").



A lot of people like to hate on hip-hop as a washed out, auto-tuned landscape overrun with fake gangsters and bereft of creativity, but B.o.B and Lupe Fiasco put on a show in NYC over the weekend that displayed the best of the artistic expression, creativity and range of talent that the genre has to offer.


P.S. Yes, I took those (better than average considering I was in a packed crowd fairly far away) photos.

And because live music is awesome, click here for a few B.o.B tracks from Sunday night's show. [All The Way Live]

WTF It's April? [Schiff Happens Quarterly Review]

College basketball is over,* baseball has (finally!) begun - it's April. In what feels like a flash, we're already a quarter of the way into 2010. It's time for a look back - and a look ahead. In the spirit of my recent return to the workforce (more on that momentarily), it's time for an official Schiff Happens First Quarter Review.

Entering Q1, Schiff Happens was at a crossroads, still reeling from the epic suckfest of a year so brutal it can't even be spoken of by name. Yet out of the shitheap came a glimmer of hope, dreams of promise for a great year in 2010. There were big challenges and high expectations ahead.**

We started off Q1 by bidding a bittersweet farewell to the Greatest Reality TV Show in the History of Ever. I was high from all the hairspray fumes I inhaled getting ready for the finale party, so it took me a few extra days to let it go. Not to worry, though, fist-pumpers. Looking ahead, we should be lucky enough to have Sitch, Snooks, Pauly D and the whole gang back in our lives - hopefully late Q2, almost certainly early Q3. As if it were possible, the show will become even less Jersey, as season 2 will take place in Miami.

Another Q1 highlight: The Schiff Happens name made the jump across the pond. I was interviewed by a BBC documentary crew and poised to appear alongside such Internet royalty as Al Gore, Tim Berners-Lee and Bill Gates. However, the BBC web player only allowed you to access the show from inside the UK. Oh, sweet irony! I wondered, "If you get interviewed by a prestigious international television network for being the guy who defriended his facebook friends for a free Whopper, and nobody in America can watch it, did it really happen?" It's the age-old philosophical conundrum. However, I am delighted to report that as we enter Q2, the show has at least made its way to YouTube. Enjoy the video below and have at it in the comments.



My primary Q1 objective was always to get a job, but due to financial constraints, that missive quickly morphed into "Generate income by any means necessary." I found myself taking a part-time gig shilling sneakers in one of New York's oldest sporting goods stores, which, as part-time gigs go, really wasn't bad. Frankly, it forced me to drag my ass out of bed in the morning, shed the Snuggie of unemployment, and begin to rejoin the rest of society. In the end, I'm grateful that the opportunity came along. As always seems to be the case, my job search was a case of feast or famine, and after months of turning up nothing, contacts were being established and networks were expanding almost immediately upon starting my new role. Within a few weeks I was interviewing and, I am excited to say, accepted a brand new full-time job. I try not to to mix business with the proceedings around here, but I will say that I am working at one of the top young internet companies around right now, I'm surrounded by bright, focused people in a laid back atmosphere that encourages creativity, and am extremely well-nourished thanks to the greatest office kitchen I have ever been around.

In addition to getting me re-focused and refreshed, working in the sporting goods store also led to something of a running renaissance for me. Spending so much time around running shoes, runners and the sport of running in general inspired me to sign up for a half marathon and train seriously for the first time since my high school glory days. All of a sudden, I'm on a team for charity and committed to run the ING New York City Marathon in November. More on all this to follow in the weeks and months ahead (and trust me, there will much more because you're all going to be donating), but for now I hope you'll direct your attention to Schiff Happens' most recent side venture: Run, Schiff, Run! Follow my awesome Tumblr for every mile - if you ever run with me or come watch me cross a finish line, I'll be sure you get a cameo. Running: an unexpected Q1 development that created new goals to carry us through Q2, 3, and 4. Who knew?

In the final post of Q1, I promised a future post on Festival Season, but looking ahead to Q2 and beyond, it's simply an impossibility that Schiff Happens will be able to attend one of the most perfectly constructed festivals in recent memory (of this generation?) or make a repeat appearance at the big 'Roo, which gets ever-more enticing each time you put it away and come back to it. So what does that leave us, musically, going forward? For starters, a lot of vicarious living. I've been loving The Kickdrums' Indio Sessions mixtapes for the last couple of weeks (Day 1, Day 2) and am excited for the release of Day 3 to complete the set. We're also left with prayers for miracles. There's a less than minuscule, impossible chance that I may be in New Orleans with the new job for the last 3 days of April, positioning me perfectly for Weekend 2 of Jazz Fest. Send the good vibes my way, people!

Mostly, though, we're now charged with creating an old-fashioned summer tour out of the local shows at our disposal, unaided by a huge festival to help catch all the big names of the now. That means Lupe Fiasco (with opening act b.O.b., which, truth be told, I may be more excited for) this Saturday night at Irving Plaza. That means I'm still intrigued by the possibility of checking out newly reformed Sublime With Rome at Roseland Ballroom in May. I know it's not the same without Brad, but Sublime remains one of my favorite bands of all time and I'm willing to see what Eric and Bud have to offer with a new frontman. That means the big musical story of the summer will be Phish. Again. A year after I said 5 shows in one summer was too many, I'll be heading out to 4 in 3 cities from late-Q2 to mid-Q3 Amazing how the more things change, the more they stay the same.

The end of Q1 has brought back the gorgeous weather and Sundays in Central Park that we longed for throughout the snowy, frigid winter. We've got more than a few excellent positives to build on as we forge deeper into 2010, a year that began with such high hopes.*** The seeds have been planted and we're on the verge of greatness, now we just have to see it through. Of course, we can still improve - not a single Springsteen mention in an entire quarterly report?! - but so far, 2010, you're so money and you don't even know it.****


*Sitting down to author this post as the starting lineups are being introduced. I don't see it shaking out this way, but I really hope Butler takes down the Dookies. Wouldn't be the first time Schiff Happens looked on and blogged in amazement while an unlikely upstart took down Coach K's cake eaters.

**I'm still dreaming of a world where Butler beats Duke in the NCAA Championship. Still don't think it will happen, but the Bulldogs are putting up a fight (down 2 with the ball 8:21 to go in the 1st half)

***High hopes including watching Duke lose in the NCAA Tournament Championship Game... to Butler. Bulldogs have the ball with 13 seconds left, trailing by just 1. If this happens, anything truly is possible for us good guys in 2010. Could it be???

****Gordon Hayward just missed a potential game-winner for Butler that was nearly identical to Sean Singletary's game-winner vs. Duke in the game referenced above. Freakin' Duke. At least Singler got trucked on the final play. This game is over, and this post needs to be too. G'night, Canada!

Friday Jams are back on the eve of Worldwide Fame

Hey there, Schiff Heads! I know Ive been gone for a minute, but I told you things would be different in 2010 and that I'd never leave you hanging indefinitely like I did a few times back in The Year That Was Naught, and I'm sticking to my promise.

In the coming days we'll be breaking down the lineups for my three favorite festivals coming up this season and trying to decide which one you should be zeroing in on if you can only attend one, as all early signs indicate will be the case for Schiff Happens. However, the focus today is once again my ever-expanding global fame.

That's right, friends and fans of Schiff, the glorious moment is upon us! Tomorrow night on BBC Two, the final installment of The Virtual Revolution, starring the one and only Schiff Happens as "The Whopper Guy," airs for the whole world to see. Now, in this case, "The whole world" does not necessarily refer to the United States, or anywhere outside of the UK. However, the full episodes (at least the first 2) have been included in what the show's site is calling its 3D Documentary Explorer, a nifty little device that allows you to watch the shows in full, or explore individual elements in depth via a web of interconnected sites related to elements of each episode. Hopefully, Episode 4 will follow suit in due time. If not, we'll be here, waiting on pins and needles for The Virtual Revolution to finally land on BBC America.

So to celebrate this momentous achievement in Schiff Happens fame, we're bringing back a long-forgotten tradition that never should have been abandoned. Ladies and gentlemen, a warm welcome back to Friday Jams!

It's only appropriate that this week's Friday Jams feature a meeting of great minds from New York City and England, and with that in mind we give to you something we've been meaning to share for a minute now: Wu-Tang Vs. The Beatles: Enter The Magical Mystery Chambers.

I know you might be thinking, "Damn it, Schiff, another mash-up!?" or "Didn't Dangermouse already do this on The Grey Album?" but this isn't what you're used to, or what you're expecting. Turns out a 28-year-old music teacher from Brighton, England named Tom Caruana spent two months putting this together, going beyond the typical mash-up style of just slapping a vocal track over a different beat. Chambers mashes Wu-Tang a capellas with archival sound from interviews and newsreels, alternate instrumental samples and cover versions of Beatles classics, creating a new kind of mashup altogether. It had been downloaded over 27,000 times as of last month, and it's sort of amazing. Plus, the genius behind it is a freaking music teacher, an everyday bum like the rest of us, who says that if he ever met Paul or Ringo he'd say “'Cheers for putting in the great work over the years. You’re legends.' And then give them a high-five and run off quickly.” And if that doesn't get you, just look at him.



Ah-dorable.

Now go download it (It has been pulled from Caruana's site but that link will let you at least listen to it and points you to a direct download link. Sorry, best I could do), then keep an eye out over the weekend for your favorite international superstar. Like our friends across the pond might chant at their soccer matches, there's only one Schiff Happens.

Schiff Happens Has Officially Gone International [Fame]

Those of you who have stuck with me since the beginning might recall that around this time last year (almost to the day, wow), Schiff Happens rose to national prominence when I was featured in the New York Times as the world's foremost expert on defriending people on Facebook in exchange for a free Whopper sandwich from Burger King. Word of my fame eventually traveled across the pond to the UK, and towards the end of The Year That Was Naught, Schiff Happens took the next step toward world domination when I was interviewed about the same topic on camera by the BBC. You read that correctly - the freaking BBC! We international, baby!

Unfortunately, I managed to blog through the entire Rest Of '09 without mentioning this little nugget of awesomeness (Or, I should say, quarter-pounder of awesomeness. See what I did there?). It happened during the World Series, so I guess it got lost in the shuffle of me attending Game 2 for free and meeting Uncle Jesse. Makes sense, really. I mean...Stamos. Anyway, it turns out that throughout the last year, the BBC had been putting together a massive documentary project about the World Wide Web, looking back at 20 years of the Internet to try and express how it has dramatically changed our world and predict where it might be heading. Pretty intriguing stuff. The fourth episode of the series is all about how the Web has changed the nature of human interaction, and in their research the producers at the BBC had stumbled upon the Whopper Sacrifice and fallen in love with its subversive nature (as I had) as a case study in how we define friendship on the web. They contacted me via Facebook, naturally, and asked me if I would be willing to tell my Whopper story on camera, and ultimately be featured in the project. I can vividly recall Susanna Posnett, the Assistant Producer who first spoke to me about the show, telling me in her classic English accent, "My director told me to find a Whopper Guy and, well, you're my Whopper Guy." Now if that doesn't scream "You've made it," I don't know what does.

I was happy to oblige, and the rest, as we say around here, is history. About a week after that initial conversation, I was sitting in a midtown diner next to Dr. Aleks Krotoski, the host of the documentary, telling the tale that made Schiff Happens famous. A cameraman stood behind the diner counter and filmed us as we conversed, with matching plates of burgers and fries in front of us, about the utter hilarity inherent in deleting an online relationship with ten people you probably weren't even friends with in the first place for the equivalent of one-tenth of a fast food sandwich that you probably didn't even want to eat in the first place. It was an extremely fun and memorable experience, made even more rewarding by the high praise I received from Krotoski, Posnett, and director Molly Milton, who agreed that I was one of their favorite interviews of the entire series. To put that in perspective, these people traveled the globe interviewing all-time geniuses and Internet hall-of-famers including Bill Gates, Al Gore, Arianna Huffington, Stephen Fry, Mark Zuckerberg, and Tim Berners-Lee. Oh, you say you invented the World Wide Web? I'm sorry, I wasn't listening - I'm the Whopper Guy!

This is all to bring you up to speed and let you know that the series, titled "The Virtual Revolution," started last night with Episode 1: "The Great Leveling?" on BBC 2, and debuts at the end of February on BBC World. The series will be broadcast in the US, so all of you, my tens of adoring fans, will definitely be able to watch my leap from mere national fame to worldwide superstardom. Dates for American airings are still being sorted out, but I am in contact with the show's directors and will be sure to get that info to you as soon as it's available. They've also promised me DVD copies of the entire thing, so maybe we'll get a special Schiff Happens screening together. For now, check out the preview video below, follow the series on Twitter @BBCDigRev, and be sure to check out the program's official web site. It's chock full of interviews and source video and all kinds of great information on the series, and is in itself a must-see example of open source goodness for all you Internetty types. In fact, as incentive for you to see what it's all about, Schiff Happens will personally buy a free Whopper meal for the first person who can find me in the annals of the Virtual Revolution site. I promise, I'm there somewhere.

Until then, stay tuned right here. Schiff Happens, the global phenomenon coming soon to a burger joint near you.

Fist Pumping in the Old Country

(Thanks to the superb Tumblr "Black and WTF")

I believe that's DJ Pauly Polka in the center, rocking the first ever blowout. And there's Claus Von Situationsteinn right up in his grill - a truly epic moment in photography capturing the original Bavarian Beat Battle.

To be honest, with all the Jersey Shore parodies and spoofs we've seen, I'm actually shocked we haven't seen a Fist Pump Polka from the king of all parodies. I would gladly pay money to see this happen, especially since I haven't already paid to see Weird Al in concert twice in my life. Nope, definitely never did that....

/Finds worn-out "Alapalooza" CD. Polkas. Sobs.

Conan and Sandler Flip Off NBC, Jersey Shore Rips Off This Blog

Last night was noteworthy as far as Schiff Happens late night tv watching is concerned, which is completely unrelated to the fact that this post is first going up around 3pm. Completely unrelated.

First, Adam Sandler made a fantastic appearance on the Tonight Show as one of Conan OBrien's final guests (check the full show here to see how Conan wasted $1.5 million of NBC's money, and witness the return of an old furry friend). Sandler, rocking the faded green Jets tee (Gang Green don't say I never gave you any love!), serenaded the host and revealed the story of how he and Chris Farley didn't leave Saturday Night Live on their own terms but were actually fired by NBC in 1995 despite being pretty much the funniest humans on the planet at the time. The moment recalled better days at SNL and NBC, when Conan, Sandler, Farley and a generation of standard-bearing comedians collaborated each week to produce some of the most hilarious moments we've ever witnessed. But it also served to show that genius truly is so often unappreciated in its time. The interview fittingly ended when Sandler summed

things up with his then-manager's reaction to the situation those 15 years ago (and Smellson's new favorite quote from now on I can almost guarantee), "NBC: Nothin But C***s!"

After that, I caught "Jersey Shore: Spoof'd!" on MTV. It has apparently been rerunning for a week already, but try as I might, I can't be everywhere this insanely overexposed show is all the time, so I was seeing it for the first time. It was a collection of all the spoofs and sketches that have been passed around to no end since the show stormed into our lives as the greatest reality train wreck in television history, and was noteworthy for just one reason: If the guidos liked a clip, they threw a fist pump as a seal of approval, complete with a fancy graphic.

This is important because, as my tens of faithful readers will no doubt concur, the whole gimmick, is just a repackaged ripoff of The Jersey Fist - my Jersey Fist! I invented rating things on a scale of fist pumps, damn it! I had even just recently resized this photo, featured in this post, to serve as our new official Jersey Fist in future posts.

It's the same as MTV's graphic! Unbelievable. These are the perils of being famous. You pay homage to the glory of the great Garden State and a bunch of Sleaseside guidos rip you off.

So how do we plan to fire back at this outrage, you ask? Well, Schiff Happens is here to officially announce the Jersey Shore Boycott! Won't you join me? Just say "No" to guidos!

Just kidding. I could never stay mad at you, Shnookieshpookies. Finale party is officially on tonight, and the RonRon juice will be flowing! Drop me a line for details. Until then, can we please get Snooks into one of those Snickers commercials? I can see it now...

Inside Karma, a crowd of guidos are battling on the floor.

Voiceover: "Hungry? Grab a Snickers!"

Russ aka "Ron" grabs Snooki and takes her for a piggy-back ride to the beach, where he proceeds to not fuck her. Snooki returns to the house, dejected.

Snookers: "Waaahhh! Nobody wants to f*** me in this town! What the f***?! I'm the f***ing Princess of F***ing Poughkeepsie!"

RonRon: "Still not smushed, err, satisfied? Would you f*** a Gatorade bottle at this point? Try one of these."

Tosses Snickers a Snickers, who voraciously sucks the nuts out of the candy bar, then proceeds to do herself with it.

Snooks: "What? I eat it a certain way!"

It basically writes itself.

Must Go! Must Buy! [Coachella 2010 Lineup!]

You guys! You guys! I'm seriously!

Some time Tuesday night the Coachella lineup was born unto this earth, and like Moses descending Mount Sinai bearing the 15 10 Commandments, it was a miracle sight to behold.

And lo didst the Festival Gods shineth down their light upon Indio. And yeah, it was good, and Schiff rejoiced.

Is this the best festival card you've ever seen?

The Official Jersey Shore Drinking Game [Fist Pumping!]

It's here! It's here! After a long, frigid week, a brand new episode Jersey Shore is finally here again!

I have no idea how many episodes are left, but this week the housemates are taking a road trip to Atlantic City, which seems to me like a last big hurrah before winding down to a finale. If that's the case, it's time to take a cue from Snooki and start living it up!

No more bitching out like Sammi and Ronnie - henceforth, every minute of Jersey Shore is your last (Yes, for now let's ignore the insanely awesome rumor that the entire cast is coming back for a second season). It's time to put on your bedazzled fleur de lis tee and creep like you've never creeped before! Battle that beat like your life depended on it! Get your GTL on every dam day! Suck the ever-lovin shit out of that Vlasic! For goodness sake punch someone in the damn face! These are the precious final moments - cherish them, people!

In that spirit, here's the Official Jersey Shore Drinking Game (or at least the one that about a dozen of us played last week). For authenticity, you can blend up some RonRon juice like we did - "Whenever that shit comes out, it's always a filthy night" - but all you really need is plenty of beer and a stash of liquor for the occasional shot. Happy fist pumping!


The Jersey Shore Drinking Game, Official Rules:

1. The names of all the housemates are put into a hat and each person draws one. If you're drinking with more than 6 people, just put the names back and draw again until everyone has their housemate. When your guido talks to the camera, take a drink.

2. If anyone actually calls Snooki "Snooki," finish your drink.

3. If they call her anything else - Snook, Shnooks, Snickers, Shnicks, Snicky-Snicky-Shnoiks, Shnookumspookums - it's a social.

4. If the housemates all sit down for family dinner, everybody does a toast and takes a healthy chug. Except for whoever has Sammi Sweetheart - she's excluded from chicken cutlet night. She also has to refill the cup of whoever has The Situation... that ungrateful Flintstone big toe havin' bitch.

5. When they fist pump, we fist pump. Any fist pumping battle scene starts a waterfall. Everyone drinks while fist pumping and doesn't stop doing either until there's no more fist pumping happening on screen.

6. And of course, no Jersey Shore drinking game would be complete without this BASEketball-inspired rule: Do a shot every time a fight breaks out!

Follow these rules and you'll be craving ham and water in no time. By all means feel free to add your own and let me know what you come up with. Just please don't invite any sort of zoo creatures to my Jersey Shore party.

Well, I'm wasted! Who wants to smush?

We Want You To Be Happy

So glad they're back.

Mash-Ups Make Me A Happy Panda

"An hour of party-fest intensity sometimes followed by guilt because you're fist pumping to the vocals of a song that you probably talked shit on at some point in the past 5 months"

Sorry, couldn't resist that title.

For my mash-up heads, take note:

Get on that WHITE PANDA shit.

Confusion (quoted above) was the first one to plant the name "The White Panda" on my brain, and he recently had them on his "Underrated '09" list. Looking back, I clearly remember perking my ears up at Passion Pit vs. T.I. in "What You Know About Little Secrets" a few months ago, and even passing it on to a few people. Unfortunately, I have already fairly well achieved my resolution to repress most of my memories of 2009 - a year which I shall henceforth in this space and in conversation replace with "The Year That Was Naught" (TYTWN) - and The White Panda got lost in the shuffle.

But that was 'Naught. This is now. The new year has the mash-up duo of Procrast and DJ Griffi offering their debut mixtape, "Versus," to keep our fists pumping. Click play below to start the party, but only do so if you're fully prepared to battle. "Versus" is a hour-long assault, and you're going to have to beat back the beat to see the other side.

Versus (The White Panda Mixtape) by whitepandamusic


Or check out their web site for all the downloads and details. Get after it!