Jimmy Fallon praised by critics, and other brain-exploding news

Some odd news and notes that may be deemed click-worthy by some of you...


Conan throws Masturbating Bear under the bus. "I'm hosting 'The Tonight Show.' That's the show I watched with my dad when I was 10." -- "Tonight Show"-bound Conan O'Brien is aging and maturing, much to the chagrin of poop joke enthusiasts everywhere. He also hates Cleatus the dancing FOX football robot, so at least we can all support that. [Chicago Tribune]

Fallon defies odds, appears likable. Meanwhile, O'Brien's "Late Night" replacement, Jimmy Fallon, has managed to win over a few fans and critics with his online videos. "He may still not know exactly what the word “vlog” means, but he clearly senses this new-media stuff is sober business," says New York Times digital-culture writer Virginia Heffernan. Hold your breath until March 2, when Fallon gets his first chance to break character and laugh at his own jokes on actual TV. [NYT]

Is that the kind of thing that you think you might be into? "We try our best. We just don't have much time, money, or skill." -- Jemaine Clement of Flight of the Conchords, which returns to HBO officially this Sunday. Of course, if you've visited SH before you've already seen the first episode. [A.V. Club]

Get ready for some Chocolate Pain, bitch. A remix of the Pork and Beans video from Weezer, updated with more internet favorites and a YouTube-within-a-YouTube construction. Plus, the band gets South Park-ified, which sort of completes the circle. Weezer allegedly created the remix to capitalize on the theoretical millions garnered by the original. [Videogum]

LeBron James to lift Cleveland's spirit before stomping on its soul. The King has released an official announcement of his upcoming January 18 announcement. That's the date LeBron will most likely upstage the "Mannings vs. Williamses" DSRL showdown and launch his new ad campaign. Not much is known, but recently leaked photos have him donning a Browns football uniform, which seems appropriate since he's probably the only person who could save them at this point. Cries of Photoshop fraud abound, but the pics are real and the ads will serve as a painful reminder of actual Photoshop dreams that could become reality in 2010. [LeBron 2010]

I'm gettin higher...in the world. “My sales have tanked, but I still got you. Download this, it sounds like shit” -- Neil Young has released a pretty hysterical one-shot music video for what is allegedly the title track of a forthcoming studio album. With a blues beat blasting in the background, Young plays air guitar, waxes on the economic crisis, and sports headphones plugged into an apple, which he takes a bite out of. Stick that symbolism in your pipe and smoke it, Steve Jobs! [Rolling Stone]

Well, that sucked [I hate everybody]

"Hello, you've reached the Giants' coaches box. Sorry we can't take your call right now, we're busy scheming our next third-and-fail. Please leave a message and we'll get back to you if we wake up."

Aaaaaand NFL season is over - that was quick! Thanks for the great effort, Giants. It was a great season and a classic battle yesterday that neither team could have been ashamed to lose. Maybe not so much, but thanks for showing up and playing like you wanted it. Thanks for showing up at all? Alright, does anybody want to tell me what the eff that was all about yesterday? Eli? Coach Coughlin? Sweet Jesus, has anybody seen Dave Tyree?

Thanks to the GMen deciding to roll over and die yesterday (because who wants a clear path to a second straight Super Bowl, really?), I now get to endure yet another week at work, this time with no football light at the end of the tunnel but an absolute Suckfest of a championship round which will ultimately send either the Iggs or the Buzzsaw that is the Arizona Cardinals to the Super Bowl. Allow that to sink in for a moment. ::Throws up all over keyboard::

This disaster says nothing of the battery of texts and emails I've received since the end of the gamy yesterday, most of which were sent from fans and residents of the city that pretty much invented losing. The worst part is that aside from remaining much better looking, I don't have shit to say back to these animals (although you all should probably prepare for facebook to notify you that I've sacrificed your friendship for a Whopper). From the outset the Giants didn't have it, they never looked like they wanted it, and really, they got their asses thoroughly whupped by a better team for a full 60 minutes. There was no phase of the game in which the Giants demonstrated any sort of superiority, confidence, effort, intelligence - shall I continue?

Lucking out on a safety and settling for 5 field goal attempts - 2 of which were missed by John "Skeletor" Carney - without even sniffing the end zone on 5 red zone possessions is generally not a game plan for success. Then again, neither is 3-for-13 on third down. And I haven't even mentioned yet the fact that Eli decided to revert back to his rookie year and play like a steaming hot pile of garbage. Someone needs to tell him that you don't always have to follow in your brother's footsteps. Maybe young Elisha saw big brother go down in the first round last week and decided that they could use all the extra time they could get to prepare for their big Double Stuf race against the Williams sisters. Seems possible, considering that the Giants were A) doubly stuffed in the fourth quarter as they twice failed to convert on fourth-and-short (neither play was even close, and if anyone wants to explain the QB sneak with inches to gain, please go right ahead), and B) outwitted and outplayed by Double Stuf personified.

However, I can't lay it all on Eli. Maybe Coach Spags should have been spending a little less time interviewing for head coaching jobs and a little more time designing a defensive scheme for THIRD-AND-FUCKING-TWENTY!!! Did we really just forget all about this???

There's so much more that I could say about one of the most miserable playoff performances I've ever witnessed by one of my favorite teams, but it's Monday, I'm depressed, I still hate Philly (maybe now more than ever) and it's fuh fuh freezing in New York City. How long until baseball starts? This is miserable.

Help me, Mark Teixeira. You're my only hope.

Most FAILuable Player

It's not all hateful here this Monday. I'd like to take this time to congratulate Peyton Manning for once again leading the Colts to a glorious playoff vic- What's that you say? Eli's brother choked it up in the playoffs... again? Way to blow the Manning Bowl for everyone, dude. Archie's eldest has now failed to advance past the first round of the playoffs in 6 of his 9 attempts. Of course, as per usual, you will continue to see him every Sunday in his all-encompassing lineup of commercials. Thankfully for Peyton, he always has the Double Stuf Racing League to fall back on. And now he has extra time to practice! Clearly I was ridiculed when I questioned the selection of this perpetual choker as league MVP. But he has such heart, such determination, such passion. What a leader! Eli's brother, you FAIL.

Update: I feel like I need to state that I don't hate Peyton Manning or have any argument against his all-time status. I just feel like I need to balance the scales a little bit for all the love that he gets, when so often he fails to come up great when it matters more. Plus, at the end of the day, you can only fully embrace one QB from this family (if any), and we all know that young Elisha is my favorite Manning.